Anne, my Mum, has been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal peritoneal cancer. She has requested I set up this page on her behalf.
Wellington
Anne had her first cancer diagnosis at the age of 34 where it was discovered she had breast cancer. She had two more breast cancers following this but like she amazing woman she is she overcame them whilst also working and being a single Mum to myself. Due to no health insurance at the time the costs of the treatments wiped her out financially and she had to start from scratch. It was discovered that she had the BRCA1 breast cancer gene so she did everything required to prevent future cancers which included a total hysterectomy and salpingo oophorectomy (removal of ovaries) as people with BRCA1 had a high chance of ovarian cancer.
She spent 18 years cancer free which in this time she raised me and worked hard to build us up to the situation we are in now despite multiple health issues that were side effects from the treatments she required to stay alive. Over the past year she started feeling unwell again but it was put down as issues caused by her current health problems. 4 months ago things started taking a turn for the worse with general un-wellness, her abdomen bloating out, bowels slowing down, and she was becoming more and more short of breath.
After multiple doctors visits, being dismissed as having constipation, obesity, asthma, and having her pain be called "over the top"... she was finally admitted to hospital when she was so out of breath that she could not speak. They drained a litre of fluid from under her right lung which they tested and it came back as metastatic adenocarcinoma cells, aka cancer that had spread from another area of her body. After further tests it was discovered she had peritoneal cancer. This type of cancer is not very common but stems from the same kind of area that ovarian cancer comes from and acts very similarly. The oncologist said that she should NOT have got this as she had done everything right and that she was just very very unlucky.
Initially we were told that there was nothing they could do and that she had a few months to live, then we were told that the oncologists at Wellington Hospital could help. She traveled down where they drained a further 6 1/2 litres of cancerous fluid out of her abdomen. The type of cancer she has produces excess amounts of fluid which is why it spreads so easily and causes her to swell. They then said they could start her on the drugs carboplatin and paclitaxol, but that it had to be started ASAP to have any effect. Unfortunately because of a test done previously her kidneys had shut down and they were having issues getting back to a level that meant she was able to have the chemotherapy which resulted in delaying her treatment.
She is now finally on a full dose of aggressive chemotherapy which has helped slow down the fluid production. She has lost 17kgs of fluid to date (she required one more abdomen drainage). The downside is that it is causing side effects which makes it hard for her to be home alone. Apart from the usual hair loss, nausea, and lowered immune system that is expected from chemotherapy; she is also having issues with tingling/shaking in her hands, unsteadiness on her feet, extreme lower body pain, issues eating solids, and the most frustrating of all.... memory loss. Her short term memory has been deteriorating and is now at the stage where she finds it difficult remembering words and sentences, and she is also forgetting to eat, drink, and take her medications.
This means she is unsafe to be at home alone so I have to take time off work to look after her. I get a certain level of compassionate leave but this is limited.
Mum has accepted that she will never be able to go back to work, and that this illness will result in death... we're just not sure when. Her main worry is that she will not have enough funds to pay for the funeral and that the process of her dying will cause severe financial strain. She worries that my taking time from work is going to cause most of this strain but would like to be able to stay at home for as long as practical.
We can not afford for me to take lots of unpaid leave or we will get into debt and not be able to meet our basic costs. She does not want it to result in us selling the house, the home she's slogged for the last 18 years .
We're not people who usually ask for help, we usually just problem solve and compromise. However, having a time with each other and helping Mum have a happier end of life is not something we want to compromise on.... so instead Mum has requested I set up this page. Many people have asked how they can help, and to be honest this is the most helpful way as it gives us the freedom to be with each other and for me to provide the care Mum needs.
We don't expect anything, but this page allows our friends and family to help us out if they want to. For those are able to, we are sincerely grateful.
Lots of Love, Clare and Anne xx
I am Anne's only daughter. We work as a team have done for my entire life. She is such an inspiration and I will do anything to make this process easier for her.
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