Everything is gone.
Yesterday I went back to the house for the first time since the fire. Kel had been down earlier to see it so he looked after the kids while I went alone to process it before we showed Ethan and Ava. I thought I would be okay, be prepared because I’d seen some photos. I wasn’t. At all.
I sobbed and sobbed at all that I’ve lost. All the things that can never be replaced. That all the insurance money in the world can never bring back.
While I was standing there alone amidst the wreckage, three men from the army walked up. I went over to them and asked them if I could help them, that my in laws would be back soon and they said they were here to help and if there’s anything they could do to help me. I literally burst into sobs, stood there with my head in my hands, my whole body shaking with grief. They stood there in front of me, unmoving, silent and strong. I apologised and said it was the first time I’d been back and I looked up and the one closest to me looked me in the eyes and said, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I am sorry for everything that you’ve lost”. Then another offered me a fresh bottle of water. They said that they could come back in a bit if I wanted to be alone or they could stay if I wanted them to stay. I thanked them and asked if they could come back in a bit.
Why am I sharing this? I was so grateful and humbled that those three men could look someone’s grief in the eyes, not be wavered by it or recoil from it or even fearful of it. They just acknowledged it.
A friend posted this on Instagram the other day and it really resonated with me: “My mom taught us never to look away from people’s pain.
The lesson was simple:
Don’t look away. Don’t look down.
Don’t pretend not to see hurt.
Look people in the eye.
Even when their pain is overwhelming.
And when you are in pain,
find the people who can look you in the eye.
We need to know we are not alone - especially when we are hurting.
This lesson is one of the greatest gifts of my life.”
Brené Brown
Thank you to all those who have reached out to us in this time of devastation and grief. We appreciate and are so grateful for the support of so many ❤️ @ Quaama, New South Wales, Australia