Father, 51y.o. with four children aged 4,7, 23, 25 gets Stage 4 Melanoma

Being told in February your husband has six months to live, unless we can pay $22000 a month for a melanoma drug, is heart-breaking and devastating to hear. It also seems so unfair that New Zealanders don't qualify for these drugs that have been approved in other countries like the USA, Australia and most of Europe.

Considering NZ has one of the highest rates of melanoma, why are Kiwis' lives not worth the same?

My husband did mole maps on a yearly basis and had the very same mole biopsied two and half years ago in 2013. It came back benign and was then frozen by the doctor.

It grew back and in December 2015 we did another biopsy of the same mole and discovered it was stage 2 melanoma. Due to the mole being in his hair, Dave had to undergo a massive skin surgery, which meant cutting his whole scalp, removing a large chunk of skin, and then they had to stretch the flap to cover the large hole. Not only was this excruciatingly painful, but at this stage we also realised how serious this could be. Four weeks later Dave endured another procedure to have the lymph nodes in his face tested, they came back clear.

The bombshell came in February 2016, after a routine x-ray and subsequent scans when we were told that the same mole had aggressively developed into Stage 4 Melanoma on his liver, lungs and kidney. A biopsy of the Liver confirmed Grade 4 Metastic Melanoma. Our biggest fear was now a reality.

Since early March we have worked immensely hard to get on a drug trial in Auckland, but due to delayed appointments, procedures and mistakes, the start date was pushed further and further back. Finally, just when we thought everything was on track and that we had hope, we received another cruel blow.

Last week, four days before Dave was supposed to start treatment on the trial he suddenly started to show cognitive impairment. The cause of this was confirmed by a CT scan of his brain which showed multiple small lesions. This now means that he is excluded from the trial. He will be starting two weeks of radiotherapy treatment to treat those lesions immediately.

We are fast running out of time, even if those brain lesions are successfully treated, there is no guarantee that Dave will be allowed back on the drug trial. If he is, it will mean months of waiting with no treatment while the melanoma takes over his body. Dave simply does not have the time to wait.

We have decided to take matters into our own hands and fundraise for the melanoma drugs that can help with the brain lesions and tumours in his organs.

The first step is getting the Dabrafenib & Trametinib combination. We have been told this has on average an 80% success rate in prolonging a life for 12-15 months or more depending on how many treatments you can manage to get. It can also put a stop to the growth of the cancer for the time being. Then we can hopefully follow up with the Keytruda drug - another costly immune therapy drug that has had great success around the world, but all of this will depend on how much we can fundraise.

We and the immediate family are putting in a large amount - as much as we can, but it still isn’t enough. Each monthly treatment is $22000, so we need more help. Four treatments of the initial drug is a great start and will show us how Dave’s body is responding to it.

We live in Whakatane and our two girls are aged seven and four. Dave is also a proud Dad of two grown up boys from a previous marriage, one who is a Policeman and other one an Engineer and they have both been part of this roller coaster journey. Dave grew up in Gisborne until he went travelling and since his return from the UK eight years ago, he has been working as a bank manager, most recently with ANZ.

You can't put into words how much a month is worth to me and the kids in having Dave with us. Before any of this happened, we were very happy and living life.

Our lives are now turned upside down. Will my husband be around at Xmas? Will he get to see our four year old start school? Will she remember him? All of this is extremely hard for both of us digest.

Luckily Dave and I travelled before kids, and have so many fond memories with friends and family, here in NZ and also overseas where we spent 10 years together. Dave is a massive All Black fan and has seen them play in Europe on numerous occasions when we lived there. Our 18 years together have been great, eventful and mostly happy. We just wish we could have more years of this for our beautiful children. The reality is now we just want to create as many memories as we can for as long as we can.

Our world has been totally consumed by this illness since December 2015, and largely it has been devastating news we have received, but in amongst this nightmare there are some rays of light that are still shining. Today we found out the tumours in Dave’s organs have not grown since the initial February scan, so we have a real chance to fight this monumental battle with your support, but time is of the essence.

Dave is a very proud New Zealander and an even prouder man. Reaching out for your support has not been an easy decision to make, but unfortunately it is the only chance we have of fighting the melanoma until such time the New Zealand Government can come to the table and incorporate these drugs into their budget like so many other countries have.

Every little bit helps and it all adds up.

Thank you for thinking of us we are eternally grateful.

In the event Dave’s condition deteriorated to the point where he was unable to continue with treatment, or should he be a miracle and go into remission we would like to split 25% of any remaining monies to http://www.melanoma.org.nz/ and helping out someone else in a similar story to ours. The rest of the balance would be put into a trust for our young girls to be managed by independent people.