Chemo journey #2
7 September 2022'For a week after chemo, you are cytotoxic’. My oncology nurse shared after round 1 in July and explains I need to take extra care to protect other family members and people from the toxins of chemo. Double flush the toilet, wash hands, wash towels I’ve used and so forth. I never knew this was a thing.😷🥹
Overall, the toxicity affects me terribly. My brain takes on a life of its own - plays repetitive songs and torments me with intrusive thoughts and I can’t get it to shut down to rest or sleep. My body craves all the foods I’m needing to reduce to starve the cancer: sugar, red meat and too much fat. I am thirsty ALL the time which keeps me up at night🫣. Busy, busy, busy🥵 Tiresome!
Emotional energy is at an all-time low. I’m spending my time being STILL. I reduce social media time, communication and tv time to the bare minimum. I can’t deal with external stimulation. I seek only STILLNESS.
Every 3rd week I receive treatment. 3 drips - 3 drugs, taking about 3 hours, 9h-12h. Followed by a week of downtime mostly spent sleeping, resting, staying home and staying still. We control NAUSEA and vomiting with a subcutaneous pump that is inserted through a small cannula into my tummy fat. The pump delivers anti-nausea meds 24/7 for 5 days. That seems to stabilise the nausea and gets me through week 1 post-chemo.
AND🔥🔥🔥
My healing is happening! The scans after 2 rounds show overall no activity. Cancer is not active or progressed 👏😌🙏🏻 and we have a right lung pleura on a watching brief for the next while.
AND 🌻🌻🌻
I can walk up all 15 stairs to my bedroom breathing normally 🫁
I can walk along the beach and breathe
I can sleep on both my sides and my back and breathe normally
I don’t need 4 pillows at night to prop me up, down to 1 pillow
I can finish a sentence and not be out of breath
I can go to a restaurant and eat (no nausea)
I can go to a shopping mall and walk the mall🛒
I can cook a meal for my family again
I can clean the kitchen again (when I’m in the mood🤣😂)
Life is returning to me.
Hope is even stronger
My heart is filling with new faith and trust
I am grateful🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼