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Elijah's Chance at a Better Life

  • Three Months Post Surgery

      18 November 2022
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    Check out this photo of my handsome son, with his beautiful girlfriend. A year ago, I didn’t think that I would ever see him smile this much again. A year ago, I didn’t think that I would ever see him enjoy life like this. I truly am grateful that he can do both.

    Elijah is now three months post-surgery, and he is feeling great. He is a free man! Free from the confines of a compression vest, and free to again pursue the things in life he loves. He is excelling in his Uni studies, he is again finding the passion for his art, and he is looking forward to playing hockey again next year. But most of all, I love to see that smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes that got lost there for a while.

    I have spoken often of how much I admire and adore my son. He has braved one of the toughest set of challenges that any young person (let alone an adult) would find hard to overcome, and he has done it with maturity and dignity. I am constantly inspired by him.

    However, he hasn’t done it alone. Mike and I have always been, and will continue to be, his no. 1 supporters, but we couldn’t have gotten this far without the love and support from family, friends, and all of you kind, generous people who donated towards Elijah’s surgery. We really are overwhelmed by the generosity, and the messages of love and support. YOU HELPED US TO SAVE OUR SON, and for that, there are not enough words. We don’t know how else to say thank you to all of you, for you to know the depth of our gratitude and love, so we will simply say “THANK YOU” xx

    Unfortunately, we only raised just over half of what Elijah needed for the surgery. After help from family, he had to borrow the rest to cover all his medical bills. Elijah is such a hard worker. He is funding his Uni studies from his part time job and had to use the money he had set aside for next year’s fees to help pay for the surgery. Elijah is so intelligent and has achieved remarkable grades from his first year of study. He has a brilliant future ahead of him where he eventually wants to “pay it forward” by helping others out who will experience the same challenges in life that he has.

    I am going to keep this page open until the closing date in case there are people out there who would like to still help Elijah out. He has a long road ahead of him, and any help that he receives along the way will be appreciated. He will make a difference in this world, and the world will be a better place because of him. I know it.

    Thank you xx

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  • Post Op Update

      12 August 2022
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    It has now been a week since Elijah’s surgery and he is doing really well, better than expected actually.

    While the surgery was delayed almost two hours, and poor Eli had to go all day without food, he was still in good spirits. Another few anxious hours was nothing compared to the agony of waiting as long as he has had to for this life-changing surgery. Finally, what my son has been wanting since the start of his journey, was now going to become a reality for him.

    The surgery went perfectly, with no complications. Elijah’s surgeon, Mr Brandon Adams, talked to me after it was all over. He said that he was very happy with how the surgery went and that Elijah handled it well and was in recovery, in a “happy, dozy state”. Brandon also told me that he thought Elijah was a very impressive young man, for someone so young in years. He was genuinely impressed by how knowledgeable Elijah is about everything concerning his transition, and at how he is making these changes for himself. I told him that we were so proud of our son ♥️

    Even before he could see the results, Eli was grinning from ear to ear. Just knowing that his chest was finally flat made him so happy. He was even cracking jokes, saying “so glad to get that off my chest”! 🤣

    Elijah was released from hospital the day after the surgery, and we stayed with my sister and her family in Papamoa until Eli’s post-op appointment. From the moment I saw Eli after the surgery, I was pleasantly surprised at how well he was looking. But it wasn’t his physical appearance that wowed me, it was his emotional state. His demeanour, and the light I saw in his eyes, proved to me that this was the right decision for him 🥰

    Elijah’s post-op appointment was on Tuesday. He had his drains taken out and the bandages were taken off, to clean and check the grafts and sutures. This was the first time that Eli (and I) got to see his new chest. There was minimal swelling and apart from the pen lines still on his skin and the redness from where the plaster was, the results were remarkable. I must say, his chest looked so natural, as if it was always supposed to be that way.

    The bandages and the compression vest have to stay on for another seven weeks, and then he will be free.

    We are back home now. Elijah still needs to take things easy for the next few weeks, but he is looking forward to a new way of life. He is looking forward to a pain-free existence, to wearing a t-shirt without having to cover it up with a hoodie, to playing hockey again, and to so much more.

    Mike and I, and Elijah, would like to thank Mr Brandon Adams, Dr Justin Imrie and the wonderful, caring staff at Grace Hospital. They have all made this part of the Elijah’s journey so memorable.

    We would also like to thank all of you kind, generous people for making this possible for Elijah. I know I have said this more than once already, but without your help, Elijah would not have this chance at a better life.

    Words will never be enough. Just know that your support means EVERYTHING to us, and we say that from the bottom of our hearts xx

    Just one more step to go, and Elijah’s transition will be complete.

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  • Today is THE DAY!!!

      4 August 2022
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    Well, the day has finally arrived. The day that my son has been anxiously waiting for, for such a long time. Today is the day of Elijah’s chest reconstruction surgery. Today is the day that will change his life forever, in the best way possible.

    As I write this, he is being wheeled into surgery. I am full of all sorts of emotions - excitement, anxiousness, a little worried, but most of all, happy. Happy that Eli is another step (a pretty major step) closer to being is true self.

    I want to take this opportunity to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you wonderful, amazing, generous, kind people who have helped Elijah get here by donating to his surgery. Without you, we simply wouldn’t be here. Without you, Elijah would not have this chance for a better life. Mike and I, and our whole family, will always be so very grateful to you all. Our hearts are so full ♥️

    Thank you xx

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  • We Have a Date!

      22 June 2022

    Yay! We finally have a date for surgery!

    Elijah has now met with Mr Brandon Adams, a Private Surgeon in Tauranga. The consultation went well. Eli is happy that Mr Adams is the best person to perform the surgery needed for Eli’s body type, and Mr Adams is confident that the surgery will go well for Eli.

    He was also able to schedule a date for his surgery. It will be at Grace Hospital in Tauranga on 4th August, just 6 weeks away.

    This is now real, and Elijah is ecstatic, to say the least!

    We are still waiting on the final costings to come in, but it is looking like the amount that he needs for this surgery is around $22,500, about $2,500 less than the initial quotes revealed.

    However, with only a little over $7,700 raised so far (after fees deducted), we are only 1/3 of the way there. We still need to raise $15,000 (plus fees), with only a few weeks left to do this in.

    As a mother who desperately wants her son to no longer have to struggle with life every single day, I am asking for your help. If you are in a position to help Elijah, and donate to his cause, I would be so grateful and so thankful.

    I cannot describe that feeling that I have deep down inside of me; the fear, the anxiety, the hurt, the guilt, the sadness, the loss, the worry that I cannot make my child whole again, all rolled up into this one big ‘thing’. We did this to him, we got the recipe wrong, and now he is having to deal with the fallout because we can’t fix it. We are asking for the kindness of strangers to help fix this, and it is the hardest thing we have ever had to do, but we have no other choice.

    We can never repay the kindness that people have shown us by donating to Elijah’s surgery, and by giving the words of support and encouragement that they have. We say “thank you” but that never seems enough, but it is all we have. So … THANK YOU to every kind soul who has helped Elijah on his journey so far, and helped us by supporting and loving our son xxx

      2 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 22/06/2022 by Rachael Manson

      Grace hospital is lovely and they will give you good care. As the mother of a trans child I hear you. Be kind to yourself too. You have not done anything wrong, but I get it. It’s a tough journey for all involved. Strangers are happy to help and have faith, the money will come. All the best.

    • 24/06/2022 by Sharee Old

      Thank you for your kind words, Rachael. They mean so much to us at this time. While it is a tough journey, we do consider ourselves very lucky to have such an incredible son. The way he has overcome the obstacles so far, and the way he teaches us about what he is going through, makes us incredibly proud of the young man that he is. He is so brave. I do hope that people will see that, and how much he deserves this.

  • Photo Gallery

      19 June 2022

    I have posted some photos in the Photo Gallery, of Elijah’s life to date.

    Elijah was born a girl, but wasn’t your typical girl. While he was a beautiful child, he always had this tomboy streak, and would rather be rough and tumble with the boys, than play with dolls and do girly things. He loved Pokemon, riding his bike, dancing like no-one is watching (even though they were!), climbing to the top of the jungle gyms, going fishing. Regardless of the way life was for him, he was always a happy child, full of fun, full of antics, so funny, and he made life full of laughter for us.

    The photos taken of his early life show him dressed in pretty clothes, with pretty hair and a pretty face, but little did I know, he hated every minute of it. It was me who dressed him that way. Until he found his voice and could tell me that he didn’t want to be that way, he just complied with my wishes.

    You’ll see through the progression of photos, that once Elijah was nearing puberty, his true self started to emerge. It was a happy day when the high school uniform had a gender-neutral option.

    The first lot of photos I have posted in the Photo Gallery show Elijah’s life, from the day he was born until now. Then there are the photos that show where his passions and his talents lie. Along with the gorgeous child that he was, Elijah was also good at music, academics, sport, art – and just like his older brothers, pretty much anything he tried, he excelled at. As a parent, I marvelled at how extraordinary my children were, to be so good at everything they did.

    Elijah always had a natural talent for music. He has played the violin from a very young age, and soon became a talented violinist. He earned the money he needed for a school trip to NASA through busking, playing violin at markets, etc. His music ability also allowed him to get an NCEA Excellence Accreditation a year ahead of his actual school year level.

    Academically, school was always easy for Elijah, from Kindergarten right up into Year 12, before life started to get too tough for him. Eli always excelled in all academic subjects, earning school and subject awards at every level. He represented his schools at Spelling Bee contests on many occasions as well as being formally recognised in the International Exams that he sat. His trip to NASA, where he learned to build and program a robot rover to navigate a simulated Martian surface, was an extraordinary experience for Eli. He then knew where his career path was heading, until his world fell apart.

    Elijah loved playing soccer as a young child, following his older brothers into the sport. As soon as he could walk, Elijah would run onto the field to play with the boys. He was very good at soccer, and won a few awards too. Eli then changed codes and began playing hockey. With the chance to participate in the AIMS Games at middle school, he became the team goalkeeper. This is where his phenomenal (but short-lived) career as a Goalie began.

    Elijah was a phenomenal hockey goalie and had the makings of a future Black Sticks player. The photos I have posted don’t do justice to Eli’s ability, but do show how amazing he was when he played. He also gained many hockey awards, at school, club and representative level.

    The last lot of photos are of some of Elijah’s artwork that he has done over the years. Eli loves his art, and when things have been at their darkest, his art has been a source of comfort, an outlet for him.

    Please look through these photos and see the young person that I see – someone who started life as a gorgeous child, full of life; someone who has struggled since puberty to know and be their true self; someone who once was so passionate and talented they could do anything, but has lost this passion because they are struggling so much; someone who is so beautiful inside, now trying to get the outside to match.

    My forever wish for my son is for him to once again be that passionate, talented, ambitious person he was always meant to be, and to live life to the fullest.

    We are still quite a way from our goal for Elijah’s surgery. If you are able to help in any way, share our story with others, or anything else that you think might help, we would be forever grateful. Until Eli has the surgery he so desperately needs to reclaim his life, he can’t move forward. This surgery will be life-changing for him.

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  • The First Step

      2 March 2022

    We are so humbled by all of the love and support we have received, and all of the very generous donations that have come in for Elijah so far. It is truly heartwarming to know that there are so many people, all around the world, that want to help us through Elijah's journey. We will be eternally grateful to each and every one of you xxx

    Eli has just taken his first step towards getting the surgery he so desperately needs. He has received confirmation of his initial consultation with a private surgeon in Tauranga. This is with Dr Brandon Adams, who was one of the surgeons highly recommended to Eli, who is able to perform the type of surgery that he needs.

    Eli's appointment with Dr Adams is on 15 June. The hopeful outcome for Eli is that Dr Adams will be able to schedule the surgery as soon as possible, and that we will have raised enough money by then to pay for the operation, and Eli's recovery.

    We are almost a quarter of the way there, which is awesome. We are so very grateful to everyone who has made a donation to Eli's cause, but we still have a long way to go. If you have a way of sharing our story with others, so that they may also be able to help, we would love for you to do that. One day, once Eli has completed his journey to become the man he was always meant to be, hopefully we will be in a better position where we can pay forward all of the love and support that has been shown to us, to help other people who are going through what Eli is going through. That is my promise to all of you xxx

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