I am very hurt and angry by him and his family as they spread lies on give a little to defame me, I need to let people know the truth, I took out my diary, and below is what happened from the beginning: I got pregnant unexpected, I am just an international student and it's a very hard time for me but my motherhood told me to keep it. A forced me to abort it and said ""abortion is just like cracking an egg"". When I was 12wks pregnant, I had my first ultrasound scan, he didn't come because he's hangover. after that, he didn't ask anything. He said ""keep the child then we are done"", ""I don't want a baby I have my life"". And we did. I was desperate but I know I need to carry on even without him. I disappeared in his life, but soon his friend came to me and set up an negotiation, we were back together again and lived together. That's where the nightmare began. he is rarely home day or night, I work full time for our rent, food, take any job that makes money despite my physical condition, he has no job, wasted my money on sleeping with other women, drugs, alcohol. Everytime he lied ""I'm going out to my cousin's birthday, I'm having dinner with my mum."" I carried all groceries home, and he finished all of them, even yelling at me there is no milk left!! you know I want milk! I have to went downstairs, walked two blocks to get him milk. I told him to go grocery shopping by himself, cook for himself, as housework is heavy job for me now. He yelled ""fuck you"". He bought fancy expensive clothes, spend all money I saved for Jasmine's future, I don't even have a pair of proper pants for my growing tummy, I never bought a single new pregnancy clothes for myself during the whole pregnancy. You may think I am an idiot and can be handled whatever you want, no, I hate you so much as you are an awful boyfriend, but I tried my best to bear everything because I want Jasmine to have dad and mum together, I hope she can have a normal family, I thought it's the best for her until you went across the line again and again. He brought women home when I was working-hard at grocery shop, standing all day for 10hours. He left me home when I had fever, stomach and begged him to stay with me look after me, he just gone, he had a party that cannot be late. it happened many times. He didn't come to 20wks ultrasound scan, it's important as we can finally found out baby's gender. I dragged him out of his bed, he yelled at me: I tell you what, if I go out that door, I will punch anyone I saw on Queen Street!!"" He didn't come. My tummy was getting heavier, my back hurt, I gave him $35 to help me buy a pick-up tool on trademe so that I don't have to bend down all the time, he spent on alcohol and blamed me instead - You shouldn't give me that money when I was drunk already with my friends, of course I'm gonna spent it. On Chinese mid-autumn festival, it was a important day for families, we had a fight and finished an unhappy meal, he was going out again, I asked him to stay at home as a family, he shouted ""why do I have to celebrate fucking chinese festival!"" He never told anyone in his family that we're going to have a baby, but he lied to me that he told his mum but she doesn't want to see me at all. Moreover, in September 2013, he disappeared two days and told me his dad suicide himself in Oz, that's why he's gone and stayed with his brother and mum. I wanted to break up with him, he went crazy, threatened me, using the baby as a bargain chip. For the baby, I swallowed all the bitter again. I thought he really loved me and cared for our baby, he is just too young, until the day I found out all the truth, and nothing he told me was true. At the same time, He has several relationship with other women, and collect money by helping them get PR/work visa, but he doesn't care whether I can stay in NZ with baby or not. He's father is alive in Oz, his father kept sending him money, but he never spent any on the baby or me, he always told me he has no money. I finally realised that he doesn't care about me or our baby at all, he's just using me from the beginning through this baby. I crashed, cried every night. I don't know what strength I got, every working day, I still went to work in time, put on smily face, no one knows what a terrible life I was suffering. All I was thinking about is I have to pull myself together for the baby, make sure she will be a happy baby. Also, I had to go to work to pay rent, food etc. we broke up again, his mum showed up and took over the communication bt A and me. Since October, He is not responding my texts or calls. He disappeared in my life until his mum forced him to be back as the baby's father. But he didn't change, he is still that asshole. He didn't want to go to midwife/doctor appointment, he's either ""too tired"" ""hangover"" or ""don't have money for bus"", I even paid him to come to appointment so that he's a part of the baby's life. He never put any effort on his own. I still remember in that rainy day, after appointment, he walked away, left me soaked at the bus stop. I kept full-time studying and working until 36wks pregnant, my teachers told me you have to stop, go home and rest. one week before Jasmine's born, by accident I almost slip in the shower box, I burst into tears immediately and called Him, but no response , and no response the next day. One day at work I felt intense contraction, I went to the hospital, kept calling him all the way, called his friends, just cannot reach him. Until his mum his brother called him, he finally showed up. It's just Braxton Hicks' contraction. I went home alone. the due day was coming closer, I was alone at my place, excited and nervous. I asked him when will you come and stay with me just in case any emergency, he didn't reply for few days and later told me he lost his phone. When I was receiving all those lies, he was just passing in front of me with his friends towards Casino. He told me he's just went there to get a pie. Jasmine was born in January, the third day in hospital, He went out for the whole afternoon, and didn't come back at night, too. I called him a thousand times, no response. I held Jasmine in my arms, looked at her, crying so hard, the nurse asked me where is your husband? I said I don't know, I haven't seen him since this noon. At 3am he finally returned hospital, drunk and smelly, I told him to get out of my ward, he slept in the family room but kicked out by the nurse again, he returned in my ward and crashed in his spare bed, slept til next afternoon. that night, he spent all the money I gave to him for my food during my stay in hospital. I looked at this little life in my arms I really don't see a future with him. He stayed with me in January, but still went out come back drunk or smelled like mariguana. He lied that he had few drinks with co-worker at night-shift, when I asked about work details he couldn't tell, and never see any money spend Jasmine. When Jasmine was 3 wks old, we went out for a walk, there was a young chinese women pushing a pram going towards us, she saw us with pram too and nodded smiled, A turned to me immidiately: see, with Jasmine, I can get more girls now, even single moms! When we visited my workplace at Herne Bay, He asked me since I worked at this rich area, do I happen to know any rich single mum to hook up, I couldn't believe my ears, I questioned him"" in stead of looking after your own child, you want to hook up a rich single mom??!! I was very unhappy that he had drugs and held Jasmine, his response was ""It's just weed, it's okay! you know what, when Jasmine's older and she started to smoke weed, oh come on, everyone has to do it in their life, it's New Zealand! I won't tell her that she can't do drugs, but I will teach her how to do it properly. And you know what, it's possibly that when she's teenager, drugs become legal alreay! you can just buy them from a dairy! That will be heaven for me!"" When He stayed at my place, later I found that he still kept his room somewhere as he still bring different women there to spend the night. in his words""I need my own place when I get exhausted looking after the baby"". His mum knew it but didn't tell me, she said ""I knew it but I am expecting He will tell you in person."" At the same time, he disguised a good attitude in front of me and told me he wanted a family with me. When I realised I was fooled again, it's too late, A signed the birth certificate, he became a legal father, Jasmine became a nz citizen, I never felt so worried about my visa. However, he still didn't deliver any responsibilities, he threw up when he was changing nappies, he bumped Jasmine's head when he picked her up, he went party, left me sick alone with Jasmine at home. I begged him again and again, think about Jasmine, he didn't listen. I found he cheated again, soon his friend told me a immigration fraud he committed last year- when we were still in a relationship, and the woman was my friend. my heart is totally broken. In Feb, I asked him to leave. He pissed off and threatened me that if I leave him with the baby he's going to suicide. Of course he didn't. After we were separated again, I kept reporting to him everyday what Jasmine was doing , how she was, but no response. silly me- try to wake him up and teach him to be a farther for Jasmine. I only hope that he can keep a stable relationship and be a good father for her. I went back to work 6wks after C-section. once he was alone with the baby, for just 40 mins, he called me that he couldn't do it, I had to return home from work. After that, I realized I am totally alone. There is nothing he can or he wants to do. I have to withdraw my study, quit all jobs, and look after Jasmine at home. but I cannot afford high expense any more. from March, he didn't come to see Jasmine. we live 5mins away. Jasmine had skin rash at white cross, he didn't come. Jasmine took 6wks, 3m immunisation, he didn't come. Jasmine had fever at starship for 3 days, he didn't come. fire alarm at 5am in my building, I called him when I was carrying baby downstairs, he replied where is my friend(his friend lives next door), and no more. no more texts the next day, either. I asked his mum for help to move to Athenree for a while until Jasmine is old enough to attend day care. He knew I was going and no contact. I called him and asked ""tomorrow noon we are going, and maybe come back in half an year, do you want to see Jasmine before we go? he said ""I can't come"". In April, I received several payments from government through His bank account as he is the applicant. I knew it's not the all benefits that Jasmine is entitled but after communication, He just don't give all. He shouted in the texts: if it's not because of me, you are not gonna get any, half of the benefits are mine, they are my money. the payments came in for 5wks and suddenly it stopped, I called Him, he said he didn't know, the government stopped paying him. At the same time, my family tax credit dropped half amount, I can barely afford Jasmine's formula and nappies. I called IRD and asked about any more help from government, IRD told me because A started receiving not only benefits for caring the baby but also student allowance, so I received less benefits. A wants to keep all the money to himself. I called study link and told them we are separated and he shouldn't get the benefits for Jasmine as he's not caring for her. I don't know the result. while we stayed in athenree, he never texted me about Jasmine, and never came to see her. He did his best to upset me, he called police said baby is not safe with me, I cried all night. Then He was manipulated by his mum, applied an order that Jasmine cannot be removed out of Auckland, we are going to court soon. About A's living place - his living place is full of drugs, alcohol, bitches that can sleep with anyone. Jasmine is 5 months now, his friends only came visit once, at 9:30pm, you see it clearly, his friends, came to visit us 9:30pm then picked him up to a party next door. leave a sick me with the baby alone when I clearly told him that I am not able to look after her alone.
