Help Nikolai survive, exist and get surgery

$10,165 of $10,000 goal

Given by 275 generous donors in 4 weeks

I’m not asking for woke status updates, rainbow flags or hashtags. I’m asking for concrete resources and your help with being a trans man.

Auckland

Being a transgender man is pretty difficult.

Being an independent artist is difficult too.

Being a young Samoan/Niuean person trying to survive is definitely difficult.

HEY GUESS WHAT, I, NIKOLAI TALAMAHINA AM ALL THREE!

What am I raising money for?

I am asking for $10,000.

I’ll be straight up. I am fundraising because I have a hard time being in my body. I would like funds to help me with medical costs, including surgery, medication, counselling and a stipend to survive.

This for me will go towards some of the costs I need, which actually come to $21,000. I am not asking for this full amount…. because frankly I am scared. Even asking for help is hard for me, let alone this kind of honesty. I fear I will fundraise nothing close to what I need and that’s... a painful prospect. I feel $10k is realistic, a step in the right direction and anything above that will frankly be a blessing.

Background:

I identify as a man. Society and my body doesn’t recognise this.

I feel unsafe in public spaces and it is hard to be myself and the person/gender I intrinsically am.

Working is always a loaded affair as my employer, work environment, co-workers may have attitudes that make it hard to secure a job.

Often I take labouring jobs to survive and wearing a chest-binder daily complicates this

The binder has started causing health problems for my back/spine alignment and my ribs are bruised. I have been binding since I was 16 years old. After six years I can no longer afford this as a short-term solution for presenting as a man.

If I don’t get Top/breast reconstruction surgery within the next three years I will not have an effective operation as the binder will have damaged the breast tissue too much.

I have felt this way since I was 5. My own reflection, my conditions, my limitations, my dysphoria… my mental health can no longer take it. I want my body to reflect who I have always been.

Being a 22 year old Pacific Islander with very little resources and access to funds comes with a lot of baggage too. I navigate a lot of racism, I don’t come from an academic, middle-class background and simply surviving outside of my gender issues is hard enough. I am also constantly educating people about the issues I raise here (for free) and it gets very draining. I’m aware there have not been that many trans reassignment crowdfunding campaigns in New Zealand and although I feel vulnerable, I am finally prepared for the attention that this may attract.

Who am I?

I’m a musician working under the names Brown Boy Magik and Nikolai.

Here are some links to my work:

Brown Boy Magik on Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/nikolailovesyou

Brown Boy Magik on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Brown-Boy-Magik-412029769198557

Nikolai on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IQ3tzAQ15U

Nikolai on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6Nq2WFORtt8anb7BcEUexy

Nikolai on Twitter: https://twitter.com/paleoparentz

I’m also DJ

Here is an interview I did with my Queer POC Cub collective Fully Explicit for The SpinOff in May 2017.

https://thespinoff.co.nz/music/21-03-2017/everyone-wants-to-shake-their-ass-fully-explicit-a-club-night-for-the-queer-community-people-of-colour-and-all-genders/

A link to our club night/community: