In Memory of our Loseli and Saame

Baby loss/ pregnancy loss/ neonatal death/ cervix incompetency

On the 13th of May 2020 we gave birth to our beautiful baby girl Loseli Temika Pahulu at 21 weeks 5 days. Losing a baby is the most heart-wrenching experience ever, on top of that giving birth to her, and feeling her as she lays on my chest taking her last breaths hurts your soul. Her dad, sister, and brother looking at her lost and full of sadness at the same time.

This year we sadly lost our darling baby son Saame Sami Sakopo Tonga Pahulu on the 31st of March 2021 at 21 weeks and 5 days. So it has been a huge loss for us as a family and emotions that are unimaginable. 1-4 women experience baby loss and We have sadly been part of this statistic twice.

Families are lost and are dealing with so much during this time. I searched for support and found the Facebook sands page where other families shared their stories and their loss. A whole community on the other side and that helped with my loss and grief and connecting with other mums. It was here that I saw a whole different side to pregnancy and that a community that you only know of till your part of it. It is also a beautiful community of understanding and selfless families willing to share and open up their souls of their loss and journey.

At this time there are so many things that parents do not even want to think about or even start to plan. We want to donate and help in any way we can to support our families. During my time as a mother, something that helped me was journaling, readings and something that took care of my wellbeing. I would love to raise some money to put together, care packages for mums and donate them to hospitals. Containing journals, candles, oils, books, or anything that can help mums as they start to journey through their loss also together as a family.

We want to make 30 care packages to be distributed to Northshore, Auckland and Middlemore maternity wards. It will be 10 care packages to each hospital, if more can be put together they will be distributed evenly. The maternity wards can then pass this on to bereaved parents and families. This will be our way of giving back and helping others during this difficult time. Also honouring the memory and life of our babies Loseli and Saame.

No one is prepared for baby loss, no one knows how to approach bereaved parents, because it is not ever talked about in society. So if we can help other families, parents, and honor our beautiful babies this will be a blessing for us to give back in any way we can. Not only that it is an opportunity to bring awareness to all baby/infant/child/maternal loss that occurs around the world. Also educate people to help to better support bereaved through sharing our stories and journey.

To our Loseli and Saame,

Mum, Dad, Sister, and Brother, miss you and love you both. Our hearts, our souls, and our loves forever. Till we meet again at heaven's gate and live eternity forever.

Love always and forever,

Your family.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and happy to talk to anyone experiencing or have experienced baby loss or want to know more.

From,

The Pahulu / Tonga Family.

(Drisana, Michael, Kordelia, Enilasa, Loseli and Saame)