A hard week...
29 March 2026
It's been a tough week. Painful. Feeling pretty awful. At the start of the week my blood counts were too low for me to receive chemo. I got an injection of pegfilgrastim instead which gets your bone marrow to dump blood cells- and also causes a lot of intense bone pain. The morphine wasn't enough to stop that.
But my blood levels went up. Wednesday was surgery to insert a port a catheter that connects to the blood vessels in my neck so that I could receive chemo etc into that as the IVs have become too painful and keep failing. My friend Ruth picked me up for surgery at 7:30 am - prepped by one of my favorite nurses, surgery went through without a hitch, a couple hours in recovery and then I walked upstairs for chemotherapy. A few days of feeling pretty sick after that. Finally started eating again on Saturday. Though my energy has been so low and I've been weak and tired. My friend Eva coaxed me out to the beach to walk and sit in the sun with the boys and the dog- highlight of the weekend. So grateful to live in such a beautiful place. 💕
Kids have been absolutely amazing - helping out in the yard and around the house. We made sushi tonight and played card games and cuddled on the couch watching TV.
But it makes me teary eyed... This is not how I wanted to be a mum. I wanted to have energy and take them on adventures.... hopefully I'll get there again. For awhile. But for now, grateful for this and that I've ended the week feeling a bit better than before.
