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Please Help Māhina Grace Ngāpō Heal from Breast Cancer

  • The Ups and Downs of life

      19 July 2025

    Mm another long time between updates.. I think I get discouraged by the short word limit! .. I regret not writing when I've been in moments of deeper inspiration as I am now in a moment of exhaustion and overwhelm.

    We've moved 16 times in the last 13 months and I have to be honest that it is feeling like a lot to manage on top of full time treatment and integrative protocols. I must remember that winter has historically never been easy for me but I've always managed to find my way out of the darker times eventually...

    One breath after another, one step after another, one moment after another...

    When we are in the most challenging times of our life it truly is the little things that matter most.

    I'm cherishing the scent of the Daphne that is in full bloom by our door right now, the sight of the one hundred year old Totara outside our window, and keeping warm by getting to bed early and snuggling up and reading with my son.

    I'm half way through my current treatment now .. I've had to pull back on a lot of the supportive therapies I was doing due to financial constraints and am feeling the effects of this but I'm still holding a vision of ease and abundance flowing our way...and I am also leaning in to all the ancient wisdom I have gathered over my life time that is free and available to me always such as Karakia, Breath , Movement, and Gratitude.

    I'm attaching a video from early June - finally figuring out how to do some of this technical stuff ! ( hopefully it works)

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    • 27/07/2025 by Marleen

      Mahina your poem brought tears to my eyes. You speak of vulnerability in sharing it but all our souls feel the same way and can share in it. Please, for highest good, let Mahina live for a lot longer! Ahau. Love and light. Marleen

  • Post Radiant Light Update

      13 April 2025
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    Gosh over a month since I last did an update ! .. And what. a big month it was . I had intended to update here daily - but the word limit was restrictive and also it was a HUGE month. I did manage to do daily updates of the 15 days of Radiant Light on my Facebook page - if you are interested to check it out its under my name Māhina Grace Ngāpō.

    It was a huge month - a lot to hold - and the last two and half weeks since finishing have been even bigger.

    Side effects are meant to peak at two weeks though so I am hoping I am through the hardest part now.

    All the Dr's I have seen are amazed at how well I have done with this treatment. Because I am dealing with a very aggressive form of inflammatory breast cancer I received a much stronger dose of radiant light into my skin than what is done for standard breast cancer. This means they were expecting me to have really bad burns to my skin - possibly third degree with blistering and breaking of the skin.

    I am very grateful to say that this hasn't been the case for me , my skin has felt quite uncomfortable at times in the last couple of weeks but mostly its been like a really bad sunburn that is now peeling.

    Sadly the Dr's are not interested to even know why I may have done so well!.. But I know that a big reason is because of the financial support you have all given me. I invested a lot of time in deep research and then money into supplements and therapies to support me through this treatment. Thank you all so much !

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  • Radiant Light Therapy - Day One

      6 March 2025
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    Day One :

    Thank you all so much for the messages, thoughts and prayers that I recieved today as I began the first day of 3 weeks of Radiant Light Therapy .

    I've had a really beautiful day - beginning with with rising at 5 am to write prayers and stretch my body , followed by an amazing dance on the beach at sunrise , a swim and some time in the beautiful garden we are currently caring for .

    Also slipped in a rectal ozone insuffilation (!) And brewed and drank some ozone water before heading in to Wellington .

    Once there I found a lovely bush track near to the hospital to run on for 20 minutes to get my cells well oxygenated before my treatment.

    When I arrived at the hospital I was greeted by the most beautiful radiant light therapists who were very supportive and respectful of my requests to set up an altar on the light bed and also choose my own music to listen to .

    After the treatment I stopped at Pukerua Bay for a swim before heading home just in time to take Manu to his first guitar lesson and gaze at the stunning flowers left for me by beautiful friends.

    Resting now as Andre cooks dinner ... planning an early night before repeating it all again tomorrow .

    I'm feeling blessed by all that's happened in my life up till now and for all the inner resources I have to draw on to carry me through this experience.

    Also feeling blessed to be held energetically by my community . Thank you so much ! Xx

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  • RADIANT LIGHT THERAPY

      5 March 2025
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    Never could I have guessed that I would ever be doing such a thing as radiation treatment in my life ..

    Although technically I am not , as I empower myself by writing my own story and instead am embarking on Radiant Light Therapy (this is my name for radiation treatment ).

    I will need to travel to Wellington every week day for 3 weeks for this treatment .

    The first one is tomorrow at 12.20 pm and all the others will be some time between 12.20 and 1.30 pm each day .

    I am holding a vision of Radiance... of my body being infused with the energy of the Stars and the Sun and the natural magnetism if the Earth.

    I am praying for my body to accept this medicine with ease and grace - that I may welcome this light into my body with love and trust and deep inner peace.

    I pray to be completely engaged and present with this experience so that I may alchemise this potent force into the perfect healing my body needs.

    I trust in all the Tohu I have recieved and in the path I am now walking and I trust in the power of Love and Prayer and Magic .

    Please send me some good thoughts tomorrow if you can !

    I'm not sure yet what to expect but will try and do some little updates along the way xx

    https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/please-help-mahina-grace-ngapo-heal-from-breast

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  • Another Flight to Wellington

      16 February 2025
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    Thank you so much for all the good wishes on Friday .

    I have another big day ahead of me tomorrow flying to Wellington for the day again.

    This time it is to do a CT scan in preparation for radiation treatment that is to start in March .

    Never in a million years could I have ever seen this as being part of my journey .

    I have never even had a mammogram before - let alone a CT scan!

    But I am dealing with inflammatory breast cancer which is considered the most aggressive of all types, and the one instance where all the integrative practitioners I have consulted with actually reccommend radiation treatment.

    I agonised over this decision and then asked for a clear Tohu (sign)

    The day I asked for this I ended up driving directly behind the truck in the photo below for two hours .

    It was a huge truck with a picture of a Goddess and a Phoenx on it and the words :

    Amid the Flames

    Beautiful Arabian

    Bird Extends It's

    Powerful Neck of

    Gold and Fiery Red

    Instead of Flying

    Off it Dances

    Eventually Consumed

    By the Fire and Reduced

    To Ashes

    But this is Not the

    End, Only the Beginning

    It has been a process for me to accept that the answer to my plea for a sign was not the one I wanted to receive. But I have learnt in my life that it is important to heed the directions given when we pray for higher guidance.

    So here I go ... off to Wellington tomorrow to be scanned and tattooed in preparation for treatment in March ( I will write more about the details later).

    xxxx

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  • New Treatment

      13 February 2025
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    Somehow nearly two months have passed since I last did an update ...

    We've been busy moving between various housesits during this time , have celebrated Manu(my son)'s 11th birthday and have had lots of big decisions re treatment options .

    We are currently housesitting in Raglan until the end of the month so I am flying to Wellington and back tomorrow to begin a new treatment called Kadcyla .It will be a big day but I want to get back to my whānau as soon as possible as I don't yet know how my body will respond to this new medicine .

    It is a "targeted chemotherapy" which theoretically means that side effects should be less than conventional chemotherapy but some people have a really severe response .

    I have renamed Kadcyla to Loving Warrior Medicine and am praying that my body will align with this medicine with the strength and grace of a humble centered warrior. One who understands that when we master deep presence with what is, we do not need to fight.. Instead, we find strength in surrender and peace in knowing our own soul well.

    Please think of me and send me some good thoughts around midday tomorrow !

    xx Māhina

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  • SURGERY RESULTS

      17 December 2024
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    I finally got back in the water on Saturday.

    It was a relief after a really big week moving house, and then travelling to post op appointments every day.

    My range of motion is really limited on my left side and there was a split second where I realised I couldn't swim and could drown! But luckily calm prevailed and I went on to realise I could still side stroke on my left side .

    Recovery is a big process of acceptance for what is .

    Also processing results from surgery that revealed despite three months of neo-adjvunct treatment there was still cancer in five out of the six lymph nodes they removed and cancer scattered throughout my left breast.

    I'm awaiting an appointment with my oncologist mid Jan to explore "palliative" drug options .

    I do not let medical terms define me and I am open to a miracle.

    I am also making the most of every day .

    I need to keep raising funds for DNA testing , Rehab, alternative therapies, and unfunded drugs and scans. Just the DNA test itself will cost close to 10 000 dollars .

    If any of you have time to write a little something and share this page to help get it out there I would be very grateful . Every dollar truly makes a difference !

    Wishing you all a beautiful day and a peaceful moment in the sun xxxxxxx

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  • Thank You xx

      5 December 2024
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    Thank you for all the loving messages I have beren recieving....

    I may not have physically replied but they really mean a lot and have helped me immensely over the past week .

    Post-surgery come down is a real thing and there have been some really hard days and nights , lots of tears shed and the facing of many fears in regards to the journey ahead .

    BUT beneath all the emotions I am allowing to freely flow I feel a deep foundation of strength and faith.

    Feeling very grateful to Andre for being such a beautiful man who supports me so unconditionally through this massive journey -tirelessly tending to and carrying the needs of our whole whānau.

    I am blessed on many levels .

    Thank you all for your support.

    https://open.spotify.com/track/08zgu2a694KDuMjyo6TczD?si=r_xMo41kTNmh74vFDt-vxw

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  • Surgery Recovery

      30 November 2024
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    Kia Ora Koutou -

    I am doing really well post op . Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers 🙏🏾

    Still a long road to travel but I am feeling surrounded by love and deep peace and feel really grateful for my life.

    Just got the all clear to go home today !..Bit nervous about managing drains and pain but will be so good to be home with my beautiful husband and son and to breath in the trees and the sunshine Xxx

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  • Surgery Tomorrow

      28 November 2024

    Thank you so much for all the love and support.

    I want to reply to you each individually and I will eventually ..

    But I just got the call that I need to be at Lower Hutt hospital by 7.45 am tomorrow - so I need to get organised and in to bed earlyish!

    I think I'll be in theatre at about 9 or 10 am and should be finished by 1pm .

    I'll get Andre to put a little update of how Im going over the weekend until I'm up to typing at the computer again.

    Love and blessings to you all and may all you have shared with me come back to you one hundred fold xxxxx

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