Back to page

Raising Funds for 19yr old disc fusion surgery

  • Six Month Recovery COMPLETE

      9 February 2021

    Hello (happy new year and merry Christmas and happy valentine and Easter is soon I think)

    I have just had my six months post surgery x-ray. The x-ray images were almost identical to the ones right after my surgery, meaning the titanium rods have not moved at all. This is a really good sign, and shows that the bones are fusing and the strain is being taken off the “nuts and bolts” as the bone forms. It takes about a year for the new bone to turn into solid mass, but it is making good progress. The new bone formation, along with the stability of the titanium parts, means that the surgery has been a success, and the body is healing well. The surgeon was very happy, and said “You can forget about it now”. This was very reliving after six months of not knowing if the bones would fuse properly. Today those worries can melt away. I can be more active again and not worry about the dangers of twisting and bending or “over doing it”. The surgeon kept on saying to go and ‘live life’. I can now be confident in the healing of the body and enjoy the activities in life more easily. The body is just so incredible. You could see the new faded white appearances around the titanium on the x-ray images, which was brand new bone being formed- isn’t that crazy to think about. I felt mystified and amazed looking at the images, in a similar way to when you look up at the universe. I kept on being told the body had been doing a lot of healing over this time, I am so proud of it. And I am so committed now to living a life that supports and nurtures the body.

    Even though I will keep healing and fusing, today really marks the end of a long, tough and scary time. All the way back to January when my mum flew over to California after I had just found out spinal fusion surgery was likely.

    We used to swim everyday, and I would hold the pool ladder as mum pulled my leg, in the hopes that it would take the nerve off the disc (we can see the whackyness of this now). Funny moments from very loving parents.

    Well I am out on the other side now.

    I feel so grateful today looking back on it, all the love and help I received. I remember lying on the ground with ice packs on my back, staring at the wall, thinking I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this, I really need some help. Today, with all your help-I am out of it.

    After raising concerns about a mosquito bite on my scar ;-) I thanked my surgeon for saving me, I really dont know how I would be today still in all that pain, and so I thank everyone here too for saving me. I not only get to go back to normal life, but filled with gratitude too, and that’s a gift in itself. Thank YOU. I so look forward to seeing everyone and having fun.

    Love,

    Maria

      1 comment  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 10/02/2021 by Roberta

      That's very good news.

  • Six Month Recovery COMPLETE

      9 February 2021

    Hello (happy new year and merry Christmas and happy valentine and Easter is soon I think)

    I have just had my six months post surgery x-ray. The x-ray images were almost identical to the ones right after my surgery, meaning the titanium rods have not moved at all. This is a really good sign, and shows that the bones are fusing and the strain is being taken off the “nuts and bolts” as the bone forms. It takes about a year for the new bone to turn into solid mass, but it is making good progress. The new bone formation, along with the stability of the titanium parts, means that the surgery has been a success, and the body is healing well. The surgeon was very happy, and said “You can forget about it now”. This was very reliving after six months of not knowing if the bones would fuse properly. Today those worries can melt away. I can be more active again and not worry about the dangers of twisting and bending or “over doing it”. The surgeon kept on saying to go and ‘live life’. I can now be confident in the healing of the body and enjoy the activities in life more easily. The body is just so incredible. You could see the new faded white appearances around the titanium on the x-ray images, which was brand new bone being formed- isn’t that crazy to think about. I felt mystified and amazed looking at the images, in a similar way to when you look up at the universe. I kept on being told the body had been doing a lot of healing over this time, I am so proud of it. And I am so committed now to living a life that supports and nurtures the body.

    Even though I will keep healing and fusing, today really marks the end of a long, tough and scary time. All the way back to January when my mum flew over to California after I had just found out spinal fusion surgery was likely.

    We used to swim everyday, and I would hold the pool ladder as mum pulled my leg, in the hopes that it would take the nerve off the disc (we can see the whackyness of this now). Funny moments from very loving parents.

    Well I am out on the other side now.

    I feel so grateful today looking back on it, all the love and help I received. I remember lying on the ground with ice packs on my back, staring at the wall, thinking I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this, I really need some help. Today, with all your help-I am out of it.

    After raising concerns about a mosquito bite on my scar ;-) I thanked my surgeon for saving me, I really dont know how I would be today still in all that pain, and so I thank everyone here too for saving me. I not only get to go back to normal life, but filled with gratitude too, and that’s a gift in itself. Thank YOU. I so look forward to seeing everyone and having fun.

    Love,

    Maria

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Recovery

      26 August 2020
    Main image

    Hi,

    I just had my two week post surgery hospital appointment. The wound is healing well, and my mobility is beyond where it should be at this stage. The withdraw period has settled and I’m finally off all the medication- hurray!

    It was such a shock to realise how dependent my body had become on the pain relief drugs in such a short period of time. I am so lucky to have been able to get this surgery done quickly, or that dependency would only have grown worse.

    A few days ago we received a letter from the public health system saying that my appointment to discuss a surgery date will be in no longer than 4 months. 4 months! And thats just to get a date, so it would probably have been at least 8-10 months until I was able to get this surgery. I can’t even imagine that! The pain would be horrible and so would the stress it would put on the people near me. The drug tolerance would push me onto stronger stuff, and the nerve would be increasingly damaged. The surgeon said that the nerve was even more compressed then they thought, and that I had been brave dealing with the compression pain up to that point. The nerve often spasms down my leg these days, which they told us is a symptom of the nerve being freed and finally being able to heal itself and return to normal. I have been so lucky!

    I am spending a lot of time thinking about this problem of public vs private waiting periods. It’s a hard one to solve.

    Now that we have been given the clear by the hospital, I can roam the world with no dressing and just my scar, I can (and this is most important) have baths and spas again! Phew. And I’m becoming increasingly more active everyday.

    In six months they will x-ray me to check that the bone has fused, and that’s when I’ll be back to full mobility and function. Until then I will work on my strength and think about the solution to these problems some more.

    I am doing increasingly well.

    Here is a photo of my scar below, and I attached this song that reminds me of when I was in the worst off it all, but feeling grateful for the help.

    Thank you for all the help, and getting my feet back on the ground.

    M

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Photos

      16 August 2020
    Main image

    First two photos are Maria straight out of surgery.

    Third photo was when she was in hospital a few weeks ago for the pain and her face is reacting to the pain level and the morphine.

    Last photo was day 3 out of surgery.

    At the moment she is going through drug withdraws from drugs like Tramadol and Gabapentin - which she was on for extended periods before the surgery. Been tough to watch. But each day will get better.

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Maria is home

      14 August 2020
    Main image

    Maria is home!

    The surgeons were extremely impressed with her determination.

    She’s started waddling on her own (with support next to her). And even did a couple steps on a staircase in her last physio.

    She is fast improving! And with her fast progress in hospital they let her go home after only 3 nights!

    She’s happy to be back and have the cosy corner she was longing for.

    Here’s the photo of her in her cosy nest- with a tv hooked up right in front of her, her best friend zizou and a comfy bed to rest and recover in.

    She will be working on her walking everyday for the next 2 weeks before we go back to the hospital

    Hurray! And thank you!

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • The dog days are over

      14 August 2020

    Thank you everyone.

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Successful surgery

      13 August 2020

    Hi everyone - It’s Josie here, Maria’s mum. I want to say how much we as a family have been supported, lifted up by your heartbreaking generosity to Maria. She set this page up without telling us - and at first we felt bad - there are so many people out there who need help. Why should our family ask? But it has made this surgery possible - quickly - and we are so very grateful to you all. Please know that your help and your words of encouragement to Maria have made all the difference to her and our family - to feel your strength and support.

    Maria has had her surgery. It was a long one - and she was away from us for over 7 hours. Hardest 7 hours of my life! I watched a whole series of Netflix before pacing the hospital corridors in the last hour. The nerve was very trapped according to the surgeon - more than they thought- and only surgery would have freed it.

    He also said how courageous she’s been with the incredible pain he saw she would have been in.

    Surgeon said he thinks it even got worse in the time between the MRI and surgery date. You have helped us get her this surgery as quickly as possible before that pain got worse and damaged the nerve or she spent 4 -6 months on morphine. Neither was an option we were prepared to see our girl face.

    The surgeons are all pleased with the success of the surgery - so thank god - shes ok. Now the pain is just from the surgery. The old pain gone. It will be a tough road to recovery and a few months of rehab and work. But she’s up for it! We thank you with all our love for being there for us and for helping this incredible young woman get back to her life.

    Josie

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • The biggest thank you I could ever say

      10 August 2020

    Thank you everyone.

    Today is the day before my surgery. And so this page is slowly wrapping up. I can truly not believe it reached $14,000. That far surpassed any expectations.

    I feel overwhelmed and havn’t properly processed it all yet. It’s been the greatest lift and joy in the past hard few weeks seeing all the messages and acts of generosity. It has helped me more than you know.

    This has taught so much about generosity and the capacity of empathy and love. Recently I saw a movie called ‘Collateral Beauty’ that is about the collateral beauty in a lot of horrible situations. This is a perfect example- that this bad thing has happened to me and it involves a lot of suffering, but the people around you can rally to support you, like you all have supported me. And that support is fuelled by things like love and compassion and empathy. And so there is a sort of collateral beauty in times of suffering like this, where that pain and sadness you feel for another, would not be felt without love. And so this whole time has taught me a lot about accepting the things I can not control, like this bad thing happening to me, but appreciating and admiring the collateral beauty that comes with it all.

    To me, this is what the best part of religions have been founded on from the beginning of time. This acceptance of not being able to stop all suffering, but realising that our ability to emphasise and support others is grounded in love, which is a great thing to have. And a great thing to spread.

    Thank you for being my collateral beauty and teaching me so much about the best parts of life.

    Despite this negative situation I’ve been in for a long time now, I have gained almost an equal amount of positive things. I have learnt a lot about resilience, acceptance, generosity, friendship and I’ve become incredibly comfortable in myself and my body now that I’ve become so in touch with what’s happening in me, and learning so much about medicine and how the body works. I’ve lost a lot of that insecurity that plagues most teenagers (like body image and looking a certain away etc) because I am just in such awe of how it all works and even having this belly and leg and back that can do all these amazing things. I know thats not an easy place to get too, so I feel incredibly lucky to have gained all these lessons and understandings at a really young age. I have a lot to be grateful for in this time.

    I havn’t been able to thank every single person who donated on here, but I hope you will see this update, and know that I’ve seen all the donations and messages and every single time I feel like crying (GOOD TEARS) and have this extraordinary buzz of built up gratitude that makes me think the world and life is just amazing.

    The messages have been so kind, and I’ve felt really touched. I think I need to go spend some more time with my little brother now so he can remind me that I’m annoying ;-)

    I hope I will be able to return the generosity and support for others in my life like all my friends and family have for me in this time.

    My greatest achievement in life so far, is surrounding myself with such great people.

    I’ve had so many donations from all over the place, my friends and family close to home and far away, from strangers to relatives to friends and their friends.

    In my head I see golden beaming lights all around the world, lighting up with support. What a wonderful image to have. Thank you.

    When I go into surgery tomorrow, it will feel like everyone is right there in the room, because this money has gone straight to funding the surgery, so it’s like each item there that is used to help me is from this generosity. And everyone’s hands are right there on the scalpel.

    Thank god there is less than 24hours left until I get to the hospital. Things have only got worse in the last few days. I’ve started getting weakness and spasms down my leg, which is a sign that the nerve is getting increasingly irritated and the disc is moving around. The pain is only getting more intolerable, and the medication is still going strong. I’ve developed bruising around my lower left back, which we think is from when I am in bad pain and use a very hot hottie to relieve it, it bursts the blood vessels underneath my skin. :-/ So I really have no choice but to get the surgery, and I’m so damn lucky it’s tomorrow and that I have the support to get it this quickly.

    I can’t wait to get back to university and try gain a good understanding in economics and business so that I can use that knowledge to find solutions in the kind of hidden inequality like someone in my position not having family or friends, or any other options to get the surgery quickly, and so they would suffer for longer and have all those associated risks of nerve damage and addiction.

    I am not in despair but motivated!!! If the world has this great side to human nature that I’ve just experienced, we can use that to keep on working to solve these kind of problems.

    Sorry for the very sentimental message, I am in a hugely heartfelt place right now and want to express how grateful I am and all the things I’ve gotten out of this. So that is the reasoning for the emotional declarations of love and gratitude.

    I could go on and on about how much this has all meant to me, but in the end, the two words that always come to mind are

    Thank You.

    Maria

    (Now I must get back to celebrating my last day as fully human) ;-)

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Only 4 nights to go

      7 August 2020

    Hello!

    Only four nights to go until my surgery.

    These last few days will be challenging as I get closer to relief.

    I am looking forward to having normal nights, feeling comfy again and letting my parents sleep. So far we have got used to a routine of staying up as late as I can so that when I wake from the pain it will be at 7 or 8am rather than 3 or 4am. Recently I’ve been falling asleep at midnight, waking at 4 or 5am in pain. At these times, my dad, mum or grandma will wake as well, make me some food so I can take my pain relief pills, and fill a hottie to lie on. I then watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to distract myself from the pain until the medication kicks in. I’m now well educated in how to throw a $60,000 birthday party for my future 4 year old. And who to call when my limo doesn’t show up.

    They also carry their little dogs everywhere in nice outfits. I suddenly feel guilty I havn’t been taking my little dog Zizou to dine out for lunch together. Then again, I wouldn’t have the Gucci outfit for her.

    After the pain relief kicks in, I try fall back asleep, usually wake again at 6 or 7am as the relief wear off, and repeat the process.

    Then when I wake properly at midday, I have a bath or spa to help the morning ache. And start my day of hottie, pills, lie down, repeat. I do try go for a walk at least once a day too.

    Then the evening comes and the whole thing starts again. SO, as it sounds, it has been TIRING. And I am so, so grateful to my parents and grandma for helping me in the rough hours and the long days. I’ve never had such an insight into the endless selflessness of a parent.

    I’ve had my pre op assessment today, and all is good to go for Tuesday! I am having problems with my digestive system due to the pills, and I’ve scorched my back about 20 times now from lying on the hottie for so long- but other than that! Things are good, and I’m so excited for Tuesday (I’m nervous too, but the excitement of this long, endless cycle being over after almost 4 weeks now, trumps the nervousness). Dad is already planning to buy a giant magnet so that next time I’m supposed to do the dishes, he’ll just hold the magnet out.

    Mum is wanting to be in the operation room so that she can remind the surgeon of what she learnt in the film industry- lefty loosy, righty tighty - no cross threading!

    The surgery will obviously be in a private hospital, which I’ve never experienced. Hoping for caviar and champagne for dinner after my surgery ;-)

    I am extending the date of this page a couple days, only to be able to post an update of how the surgery went (though that is unlikely to be written by me, unless you want the morphine, anaesthetic, happy pills version ;-) )

    I can’t believe the givealittle has almost reached $12,000!!!! That has far exceeded any expectations- wow!

    I’ve just been so exposed to real generosity and love. I have much to be grateful for!

    More updates coming soon

    Maria

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Update

      31 July 2020
    Main image

    Hello all,

    We just had a meeting with another surgeon to get a second opinion.

    The meeting was mainly on the surgery definitely being the right course of action and to exhaust any last attempts at getting the surgery publicly funded without the increased risks of waiting.

    The surgeon was sympathetic to us but was professional in confirming the risks of waiting, such as nerve damage, drug dependency, mental health etc.

    So we came out of the meeting feeling we had done what we could, but the private option was the one that was going to minimise the most amount of risks and was going to mean being in pain for a lot less time.

    So I am writing now to thank you all again so much. And tell you that it really will be making all the difference.

    My parents are being so reassuring to me and telling me not to think or worry about the money etc. But by having this givealittle fund, I feel like I have something to contribute to them. So thank you all for helping me help my parents. And relive me of a sadness that I can’t do anything to help.

    We have now exhausted all the options of getting the surgery publicly funded without the risks of long waiting times. So we are now focussed on prepping to be in the best state for the private surgery on August 11th (10 days to go!).

    Most nights I wake up 2-3 times in the night from the pain when the drugs wear off. So I have felt exhausted for a while now and am so looking forward to being put under and finally having a good long sleep.

    The surgeon today answered all my worried questions about the surgery. And did well to reassure me. These guys are the best at what they do. He agreed the surgery was necessary, and though they don’t like doing a fusion surgery on young people, it isn’t unheard of.

    It is definitely a sad reality that so many people get faced with these kind of health predicaments, where money is the only fast-track. It’s a hidden side of real inequality. I keep thinking of the people who don’t have much support or access to credit lines etc.

    The surgeon said the private vs public conversation is frequent for him.

    It’s a hard problem to solve.

    But at least there is a public system!

    And after this, I will go through life really believing in the kindness of people to get you through the toughest of times.

    Thank you.

    Also here is a picture of the metal stuff going in my back. I had NO idea it was this big and so ‘nuts and bolts’ looking. I’m worried I’ll get in the spa and sink. At least when I weigh myself I can take a kg off for nuts and bolts. And if I need repairs I’ll just go to the local mechanic.

    I will be half robot. My flatmate in Auckland has some metal in his ankle from a previous surgery, so were gonna be some magnetic futuristic robot household. ;-)

    The surgery is all confirmed now. So I am working my way towards a clear solution. Finally.

    10 days to go!

    Lots of love and a happy smile,

    Maria

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

  • Example of heavy pain relief

      24 July 2020
    Main image

    Hi all,

    Maria’s mum here - Josie

    Here’s a photo of the list of pain relief Maria took over two days. 41 pills in total. Heartbreaking, but this is the motivation for getting the surgery as soon as possible so she can wean off the meds.

    Thank you for the kind donations and wave of support. Already seeing a major difference in her mental well-being in dealing with all this.

      0 comments  |  Login to leave a comment