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Help me after a horrific accident in my electric wheelchair. Last chance to donate today.

  • 24 August Update - Almost two months..

      24 August 2019
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    Since I last wrote, I would summarise what has happened rather than a 10-page novel I am prone to writing.

    ACC

    It took about a month for ACC to act as they said that 2 of my issues were not on my discharge papers. One of them was, but who am I to argue? It then took another week? To get things going there.

    1. I have home assistance for 4.5 hours a week. Three for a round trip to the dr one a week and 1.5 for 'home and personal cares'. This lasts for six weeks, so another 2-3? to go.

    2. A lot of the 'powers that be' have come crawling out of the woodwork - some with good news some with the same old stories.... not eligible, no this no that...

    3. I am getting some more home help type care on an ongoing basis which I am very grateful for. It's only been two weeks in, but already it has made a big difference - so one good thing.

    4. In the world of 'equipment', there is 'nothing' they can give me or do that will meet my needs apart from a stool. I am in no man's land because of the things I do need are not funded as I said because partly they aren't required by a lot of people because how I am is quite rare. They just aren't supported full stop.

    5. Some of my GAL money has come in, so I am paying back the $570 that my Alexa and Echos through the house have been set up, so I have voice action anywhere in the house now. I do have my St Johns alarm too, but I feel/felt like I needed a back up in the case for any reason I can't reach it...It's all about fear and security, I guess.

    6. This weekend I am looking to buy the 'thing' to get me off the floor which will come from overseas and be the last of my GAL and the kind people who have slipped me a card etc. directly - thank you all. So hopefully that will be here in a few weeks.

    7. My long term goals are still a work in progress, but I feel that at least something good has come out of it all and that wouldn't have happened without you all to bring this to peoples attention about "the system".

    I don't wish to be negative as I am grateful, but I wanted to give you two examples of "the system" I have hit again since/despite my accident.

    1. Shoes. Since the labour govt took over, they poured all their money into hospitals. Very good. Where did the money come from? A lot of it came from peripheral services to keep people safe in their own homes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Prior the National Govt still had the old one pair a year rule but in sensible cases that was excepted. Now the Labour Govt has whipped that away and are down on the Orthotics like Thors Hammer ... (or is it Mallet? I had a new pair in August last year, or so, I ordered them then, but I did not receive them until December, due to being forgotten, unable to get an appointment for three months. So, therefore, I am not eligible and can not get new shoes until December? I can start the process again - so in reality that works about to be every 15 or so months. Despite the fact that they are the cause of 3 of my four prior wheelchair falls, it's just too bad. Unless I want to fork out up to $800 myself, all that will do is delay further my next pair of shoes. They "sold" me some boots in the meantime that are relatively normal shoes but are very soft - suitable for diabetic people (I am not) - they are quite good and comfy but alas I can not get them on and off on my own. Therefore there goes more independence and an increase in reliance (paid or otherwise) for someone to help me twice a day.

    They are 'patching up' my old shoes, but based on their condition and the fact I need 'reassessing' not just same old made again, this is not going to do any good and is only going to result in a big hunk of stiffness on the outside of my shoe causing it to dig into my leg. Happy days... I sound like a complainer, but this is the sort of thing that wears me down.... which leads me onto my next whinge and moan...

    2. I need a stool for the bathroom to help with safe transfers (or to see if it helps). I met with one OT. He was inexperienced he felt so he moved me to another OT. A lovely lady but I had to repeat everything over again (for the third or fourth time as I had already gone through it in excruciating detail to ACC at least twice let alone whoever I have forgotten).... So we agreed I needed a stool with X Y Z and without A B C.

    What arrived on Friday?

    If you have been following this or have personal experiences, then you will know what arrived on Friday.

    A chair - not a stool

    Arms - explicitly asked for no arms - cant transfer or get in and out with sides

    a back - see above

    rubber feet - not suction feet that OT advised

    It swivels around and does other weird unrequested things.

    So I got A B C with no sign of X Y Z. It is like they are at kindy learning the concept of opposites and failed.

    Now it could have been the company isn't the wrong thing, I am not blaming the OT, but I will find out. The here we go again - more phone calls, more people to collect it, more to drop the next one-off and on it goes.

    I have had about 2.5 days a week taken up since my accident with this sort of stuff... every week. I'm getting frustrated, but I tell myself "you have to do this" and "this is the last time you have to do it" and"what good will come of any of this if you don't see it all through".

    After this round of asking for help, that will be it. I'm giving up on the system and will sort myself out as I am able with the help of my GAL, family, robbing the bank and more :P :)

    Honestly, I am happy for the good stuff that has come out of it all. That's all down to every one of you all as much as it is to my accident and decision to try to make something good come of it instead of wallowing in it and feeling sorry for myself (I've done that too!). My big girl panties are back on .... and get on with it...

    Thanks for listening, thanks for helping, the cards, the gifts, the shares, everything. It is all received with gratitude and used with

    care.

    "Frida Kahlo Quote: “At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.”

    The photo is of Frida Kahlo. Someone who's life in some ways mirrors my own, except she is incredibly talented and interesting...

    The painting was done for me by a very good artist https://www.facebook.com/sandrajane.artist and friend of mine. Check out her work it really is something else!

    Signing off now,

    Tracey

    xx

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  • Oh.... I forgot to tell you

      11 August 2019
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    about my big dent in my head. It's not where I split it open but across the front and back a bit.

    I have figured out that it is where my head met the architrave and the corner of that and the door frame. It feels like quite a gnarly dent alright. And now I've got quite a delightful scar there for everyone to look down on...

    The funny thing is, when I did crack my head open on the side - not a thing to be seen, didn't hurt, just bled.....

    Over and out.. I just wanted to share this one last picture with y'all.

    Tracey

    xxx

    p.s. t hat's not grey hair, its....errrr.... camera flash problems....

      2 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 12/08/2019 by Helen

      "Next time you see me I will be beautiful" I proclaimed, leaving work for the hairdressers. Heel caught, flew face first down stairs and into the concrete wall. One broken wrist. AND a lump on my forehead, front right side. Sometimes it enlargens and itches!! This was roughly 35 years ago. It does come in handy - I blame it for all my character failings hahaha.

      your p.s. is hilarious. Wait 'til you see my 50 shades of grey!

    • 15/08/2019 by Hylton

      Hey Tracey. Have sent a couple of emails to your private email address. Hope you received them. Hylton.

  • Two hours to go....Not enough time to thank you all again

      11 August 2019
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    Hi :)

    It's with two hours to go I sit here not knowing what to write, where to start and where to end. Thank you all who have come along in this experience with me positively, whether it be with kind thoughts, donations, good wishes, unexpected gifts and the odd bit of "folding" in the mail!!

    It's been a real pleasure to see whom has come out of the woodwork to say hello and catch up when they saw what had happened to me, it's been interesting to see how so many other people acted/reacted. Money sure does funny things to people, even if it's not affecting them, some sure do have their opinions :)

    For those of you who have left me your email address I'll keep in touch for a little while - or you can reply back and tell me to be quiet and I won't send again, but I feel responsible to let people know where their funds have gone.

    Each and everyone of you who have shared my story, talkedabout it, or asked me about it - its all shared in putting the information and realities out there for many people.

    Some good things have come out of putting my face out there - I am now getting some home care, for which I am extremely grateful, I now have my St Johns alarm (which is free, but you have to pay $80 a month monitoring charges), I now have my alexa to act as a back up for the alarm or for when I don't need that level of help. I'm still training it, but if you do know me, and my number, you can add the Alexa app to your phone and we can contact each other that way, without you needing to have an alexa too. It's just another way to keep me safe and psychologically help my confidence.

    Speaking of which, the ACC Psychologist came to se me last week for the first time (still haven't seen hide nor hair of a physio yet tho) and one of the first questions she asked me was "did you ever think you were going to die". I was a bit taken aback, because it hadn't even crossed my mind. Then whenI thought about the situation I still didn't think I'd die.... only die of boredom once I realised I wasn't getting up and I was truly trapped and in miserable pain. Interestingly she asked me why I stuggled to get out and up - and I said, well wouldn't you have... and she said "NoI would have stayed there and waited". I know we all do things differently but the first 4 hours or so I spent trying to get around the room (to my body and face detriment in hindsight) to find things to press against, hlp me get up, lean against to try and roll over, find my ipad.... all to no avail.

    Then the reality sunk in that I had no idea what time it was, I could only guess from what I could see outside, I was trapped well and truly on the floor, and figured it would be at least another 4 hours until someone found me.

    I still have blackish eyes (well one is noticeable - I just hope it goes away), my eyelids and my nose and chin are all quite red and 'dotty'... it's weird it looks like... well it looks like what it is not. I really hope it does go away because despite all my floors I did have a fairly tidy face which I felt was one saving grace. Now I look a bit tragic.... (to me anyhow!). I hve a bruise on my ankle from about 4 years ago, it never left. The Dr told me that can happn - something about calcification? Anyhow, pray that it doesn't happen to my face, or I'll need to go back to my Marilyn Manson fan days!!!

    I will be forever indebted to Felicity from Manly Pharmacy who found me and looked after me so very well (and her stepdad), and Tilena even came to check things out. They are all very kind people, but I'll never forget her. I hope she does go on to be a nurse one day.... but I digress...

    This far down the track, I still can't talk about it without getting upset. Even writing this is very hard and I am getting emotional. I often manage to talk about it OK up until the point of flying out and being stuck facedow nbetween the wall and my wheelchair on top of me. That's when I get upset and can't really talk through that bit.... Time heals all wounds. I'm not so sure of that right now.

    As far as my physical wounds go, my neck has mostly healed but I still need the physio to ensure that I get some more movement back in it to the right as it's not functioning as previous. My arm is still painful and not getting any better either. I am going to the DR again this week and I will ask her to chase up what is going on re my physio. Ideally it would have been done and dusted. The endless 'medicalisation' of me in the last 6 or so weeks, takes its toll on getting better both emotionally and physically and I have started to feel very very tired during the day again, which is one of my key indicators of stress. It's the only time I ever feel like that.

    I have read such things as "a professional patient', "being mdicalised" (that was what my dr told me I was some time ago)... and other things where you end up with half or more of your life revolving around waiting rooms, dr's, blood tests, medication, and all that piled up with disability, wheelchair meltdowns and other stuff... at times there is just no time to do anything close to enjoyable, or you're not in the mood after that to do anything much at all..

    I'm not sure where I am going with all this - that's I suppose just where I am at at the moment.

    Now that this is all over - or it will be by the time I am aslep tonight - here's what we have achieved:

    We've raised around $2600 from GAL, Facebook and money in the mail!!. This is going to go a long way towards helping me set up with the things I need. Firstly it will pay back for my Alexa and Echos to keep me sorted throughout the house which cost just over $600.

    My next purchase will be something to make my bath transfers s afer - which in all likelihood is going to rquire me getting someone to design and mak something for me, and an inflatable type device from the UK to help me get up off the floor if I do fall (assuming I am not stuck, trappd or covered in blood!!).

    The main priority is to keep me safe during transfers but also to keep me safe when I am bending down to pick things up and get back up again. While I banned myself from that for a little while, it's not realistic to sit in a 'chair of fear' for the rest of my life and if I don't go back trying to do things I used to do, then disaster has won, hasn't it?

    I'm still quite terrified, sometimes more than others. I no longer think I am going to be flung out everytime my arm touches a wall, but I am having repeated bizarre nightmares about it - at the moment focusing on the flying through the room sensation and falling, rather than the being trapped - though that "has" happened in the dream currently that bit seeems to be fast forwarded to the before an after bits! :) :)

    As far as equipment from the MOH goes - no go. I did meet a lovely enthusiastic Community OT but unfortunately he couldn't help me either for all the same reasons as before.... #dont fit #things I need are not funded #MOH say no.... (Makes me think of the computer says no from Little Britain) and just all the usual clap trap I have put up with for knocking on 30 years. I may get a chance to readddress my wheelchair however I am quite happy with it and dont know if there is any that might be of any help for me in light of my problems... the bigger more important things to me are the day to day things that will keep my legs mobile and flexible and my back and bum comfortable so I am more able to prevent an overbalance, fall or other thing, than being so stiff I can't move due to the foam andwoolen thingI got from the MOH to support and help my back not being funded for anymore so I cant replace it... And the wheelchair seat that I have spent six months on the urgent list working with a lovely therapist I might add in their defence, to get a new safe, balancedand comfortable seat to sit on. Well I will keep pushing along with these things, with some renewed energy thanks to you all, and I know now with some certainty that I can get into actually buying and not looking for/at folornly the things I need now I have a 'budget' for those things to work with, and I have a goal to work towards long term for some bigger purchases, if they happen.

    Thank you all for your support. I'm still battered and broken both inside and out, but without all your love, care, help, emails, and gifts and donations, it's enforced my belief that most people are good and most people do want to help others in any way they can. That's how it should be.

    So now I am off for a bath using my relaxing bath chair that cost me $1200 last year (no thanks Jacinda!) then I'm off to bed for an early start tomorrow dealing with more stuff....

    I am really grateful for the positive things that have come out of accepting the offer to go in the paper and accepting the idea of doign a GAL (before someone threatened to do it for me - and that wouldn't suit my control freak nature (just kidding... but I do like the corners of my tablecloth straight)....

    I've rambled a lot I know, I don't really know what to say, I've never experienced anything quite like this, and now it is over, it's going to take me a little while to process and think about how it has changed me and all the good that has come from it.

    I recently came across a very apt quote that is worth remembering.... for some reason it clicked with me...

    "Always have your face towards the sun, let the shadows fall behind you"...

    Right, I've made up my mind... you're all the best!!

    Goodnight

    Thank you all... if you're still reading. I know you will be, Mr Stark!

    Thank you all for making my life that little bit better with something to look forward to....

    Tracey MacKenzie...

    You can find me on facebook if you wish to keep in touch - my page is in my bio.

    Socky thanks you too for keeping his mama safe so he doesn't have to have her go away on a big funny bed with strangers in a big van again... xxx

      1 comment  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 12/08/2019 by Helen

      Profound sharing, Tracey. Thank you so much. To see the inner you is a privilege. This will take more than one reading.

      People that suffer the most, help others the most. This can be so true. Of course not always, but you have helped others. And will continue to do so.

      Socky is such a comfort. I have not told Marlie Girl and Lucky about the entire house and garage full of Socky-oriented toys and climbing things and tunnels etc etc. They would be sooo jealous.

  • It's been a while.. How you doin?

      26 July 2019
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    Hello, yes it's been a couple of weeks since I last updated you on where things are at.

    A quick whip around at Facebook raised $500 and I have now been able to purchase my Amazon Echo (Alexa) - enough of them to cover all areas of my house to help me get help, Ias well as my st johns alarm). We go and pick them up tomorrow.

    I have had a birthday and I was really overwhelmed with the wonderful presents I received. From friends, to my insurance company (Tower via TradeMe #noad), accounting software provider (Xero) #noad and TradeMe! (#noad). They were all so very kind and it was most unexpected the thought that went into them.

    My family and friends giving me lovely presents and my son too. I even got something I have wanted for such a long time - a Matryoshka. It is absolutely gorgeous and a perfect gift for me. Thank you Evan x :) I am going to get a special shelf to put them on one day and set the whole family out. They are soooo beautiful and intricate.

    I received a gorgeous painting from Katie Gracie and a gift from her sister Melymakes - go and check them both out on Facebook.

    Enough about my birthday. A bright light in a bit of a dark week or two.

    Next week is crunch week. Next week the last of assessments are made to see whether putting myself out here, and out there in the paper has resulted in any kindd of change of minds, or hearts and souls of the 'people that hold the drawstrings of government money for disability' or not. I have three appointments in three days next week (again) but at least I will get a new set of glasses too thanks to my insurance.

    I am looking forward and nervous about it, I am preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. These things have a way of dragging on forever, if at all. I will write to keep you all updated then I will more than likely sign off here as that will be the end of the story and it looks like it's dropping off peoples radars anyhow as there hasn't been any comments or contributions for a week or so. I was going to close it down sooner but i thought it was worth waiting to see the outcome of everyones work before signing off from here. Anyone who wants to keep in touch please request me on facebook so you can see what happens in more detail - hey and maybe I can make a friend or two:)

    My FB page is on my GAL page or here

    https://www.facebook.com/tracey.mackenzie

    Thank you everyone, if you have the time and energy please keep spreading this. If we can get to $2000 then I am halfway on my way to getting an inflatable seat to get me off the ground safely. I may even then be able to get a grant etc from Lions or something since we have demonstrated a willingness to help "ourselves" which I am grateful for :)

    Have a nice weekend everyone!

      2 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 28/07/2019 by Hylton

      Thanks for the updates. I always read them. It's great that you had such a wonderful birthday. You obviously have a lot of people in your life that care about you.

    • 07/08/2019 by Hylton

      Hi Tracey. Just letting you know that I sent an email to the address that you provided. Hope you got it. Hylton.

  • My first free afternoon in a long time...

      20 July 2019
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    Hello everyone :)

    Thank you everyone who has shared and donated to me on here and on facebook, I think we are coming to the end of the fundraising here in about 10 days, as you have all been incredibly generous and I am now going to go get myself an Echo that will make calls for me - so a double back up to my St Johns thing,

    My face is looking much better - I might even post a photo at the end of the week once a friend does my hair for me for a bit of a cheer up :)

    I still find it hard to look at this picture and believe it was me just three weeks ago. I have now got quite a bit of soreness around my eyelids, brows, forehead and again on my cheeks. I think it must just be the healing process and I am slathering it with my wonderful Hawaiian KuKui cram from the body shop. #noad

    You have all made a big difference for your moral support, kind wishes and thoughts. There are always a lot of people that might be able to help when they can, but there are times people just are not around, times where people just can't help and most importantly the times where you must remain independent for your own dignity, independence and self-care long term mobility. This is why I am putting my story out there.

    Not because of any lack of support from family and friends in their own ways, but for once this is only about me. No one else. To show the long term effects of the system... and letting people understand what it is like.

    It's purely a reflection on the system, not anything or anyone else. I should be entitled to the same dignity, independence (as realistic) and support to keep me independent and for the sake of the equipment I need, it keeps me way from needing full-time care down the road. Which quite frankly.... I don't know how I would deal with that, if at all. I think I am just putting prevention in place now while I can for my physical and mental wellbeing and to reduce worry for other people who aren't near me, or those who might be but aren't available.

    Here are a couple of bits of information I want to share with you all as other examples given to me by people in places that know - of course, no one was identified in any way.

    A person was independent in terms of their personal cares but needed assistance with their housework. They were told by the trust that dishes out funds for the government, that they were not entitled to have the housework assistance unless they had personal cares as well. The person argued that they didn't need it, it would cost more. But they were firm and in the end, the person had to accept the personal cares just to get their housework funded. A complete waste of money due to another example of criteria being out of touch with the realities of us.People get things they dont want, others dont get things they desperately need because of out of touch people and criteria and laws...

    Another lady wrote on here to me (in public) that she was caring for her a grandchild I think, who has Foetal Alcohol Syndrome. Now I think most of us know at least something about that and the effects it has on children. She gets NO help at all because FAS is not recognised as a 'legal' disease or problem. Ridiculous.... Imagine the tide of meth babies coming up now, getting worse as time goes on, just like the heroin babies of a few years ago... A lot more problems will be there too then all of a sudden...... the government won't be able to not face these realities of diseases causing so much trauma for people when aid is not forthcoming due to arbitrary out of touch criteria with no compassion for sensibleness,.... I could go on... I probably have...

    I m having all my 'meetings' next week - so hopefully, a bit of a break this week, as it's my birthday!! Yay, and the highlight will hopefully cake, and getting to see a friend I have not seen for probably a year? And of course my darling son for a night or two :) I wonder if I can give him a crash course in vacuuming....

    If I haven't already nagged you to death, please share my story. Tracey x

    The photo is of me (right) and my OBFF, Debbie. We have been friends since I was about 4 or 5 from memory, and although we don't see each other that often anymore, its very cool to still have her in my life even if it is mostly on facebook :) Oh yes, I did get my teeth fixed (thanks mum and dad) when I was a few years older hehe!!

      2 comments  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 20/07/2019 by Hylton

      Hi. I'm amazed by your determination and positive attitude. There is a quote that suits you perfectly. “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” It comes from the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. You have clearly become an extraordinary person and you have your trials and tribulations to thank for that. Strange isn't it, that sometimes our darkest times are our most important times, for they shape us into better people; more empathetic, more sympathetic. I don't know why the health system is sometimes so indifferent to the needs of the people it is supposed to serve. Something sick in the health sector culture, or maybe just something sick in some of the individuals who work there. I've experienced it many times but, of course, on a much smaller scale than you. Anyhow, keep forging ahead and don't let anyone reduce you to a state of apathy. Take the wins, learn from the losses (something I need to remember every day).

    • 21/07/2019 by Debbie

      Tracey I was really upset when I read about this and wished I could have been able to be there for you. I wish there is more we can do and I live in hope that you will be able to get everything you need to be safe. It breaks my heart that we are so far apart and look forward to catching up soon.

      I love the photo and memories of the good old days when we didnt have a care in the world.

      Love you my friend xxx

      OBFF

  • Thursday

      18 July 2019
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    Hi! It's been about a week now since this all started.

    The response has been pretty much positive with a few negatives along the way, but that is what you get when you put yourself out there for scrutiny isn't it :)

    I have had a lot of meetings, interviews, calls etc this last ewek or so with people finally wanting to know what can be done practically to help me, so I am greatful even for the enquiries but lets see if anything comes of it. Years of nothing leaves me skeptical. However I have to say a HUGE thank you to TradeMe Insurance (Tower). They approved my claim for damage to my glasses and clothes etc within 12 hours. I woke up this morning and they'd approved it, sorted the glasses with the providers and got onto another company regarding another product. They have made my life very much easier in that area. So with any luck, I will have new glasses in a couple of weeks and can cross that off my list of worries!

    I'm feeling very tired at the moment. I just want to go and sleep for a day and not look at the phone, computer, talk about it all... just get away from it all, but that won't get me anywhere and besides there's no time!! I think the physical side I felt was gone isn't so gone at the moment as things are aching a bit more again - I guess because I am more mobile and trying to be back to normal. Must be a good sign.

    I am very pleased with the funds you have all raised for me so far. I am going to see if Givealittle will bring my lose date forward to the end of this month as I think we have done remarkably well and whatever happens by then will happen. I can also get about getting some stuff arranged too as it takes several weeks to get paid :)

    Will see what happens.

    For those of you who have donated, thank you, for those of you who have sent their wishes thank you, for those of you who have just read this, thank you, and for those of you who have donated, thank you again!!

    Lots of thank you and appreciateion,

    Tracey

    xx

    The photo isn't Socky, but the sentiment is the same. Even giving him his own keyboard, he's cottoned on I think that it's not mine but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  • The story is getting out there!

      17 July 2019
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    Hello, if you read my article then you'd understand that this is in large about me getting my story out there, to make people aware, and also for my own healing emotionally. My face is pretty much OK now, my head still has a bit of Ewww on it but it's not noticeable. I look a bit like I am Rosy Cheeks or Whisky Face depending on how you look at it. I am neither (don't drink and not that rosy currently!). So hopefully will be back to my usual self on the outside.

    I am truly grateful for everyone's assistance so far. I have got my St Johns alarm safely installed now. My kind neighbour is going to be my "first responder" should I need it, but the main thing still remains to ensure it doesn't happen again and that I can minimise my risks for everyday life without having to tie myself in bed :)

    I have always been very independent and this is very very hard for me, and the accident has made it so I cant continue to make do or get along or ignore it. Being able to buy a few things now and being able to help them hlp my head is really good. I will be able to get a couple of the Alea or Go Google things that are voice-activated now too just as an extra piece of mind for me, to help the brain heal.

    I have been put on the "urgent list" I believe for Needs Assessment Co Ordination. I have my own feelings about that, which are best, in this case, kept to myself lest I be pleasantly surprised, but I am still stuck with the hard truth of the matter that because of the nature of my disability and not fitting into many boxes, then funding isn't there for the things I need - they're either too expensive usually - yet there is nothing 'cheaper' or within govt funding at the moment to bridge the gap in any way so I will keep pedalling on and see what comes of it all. The ACC lady was very nice yesterday and though there is not a lot they can do for me, she was very useful in giving me an assessment of areas to look at and what are my biggest threats.... (I sound like I'm in the CIA monitoring international threat levels!).

    One of my dear friend's pussycats passed away last night, this is very sad as she is a good woman and a good woman with her cat rescue work and looking after that she does. So while I appreciate there are also a lot of very worthwhile causes and it can be hard to choose I appreciate all of you who have chosen to give a little to me, whether it be your kind words, a small donation or a big one. When I have a thing in place, I will write more about how this has all changed my life as I know it is already and will.

    It's a hellish thing to go through when you don't think you'll need help until you're a wonderful old lady with creaky hips and a wheelchair that is far too fast for her :P Although you may have "natural supports" in place, a friend, boarder, partner, companion, sister etc can't be your 'keeper' as there are simply things they should not be doing due to their own difficulties, disabilities or dangers of their own accidents. And there is nothing that can replace independence and knowing you dont have to be at someone elses mercy to do something then resentment builds up over time and boom that friend becomes too busy (rightfully so - friends are not there to be full time assistants and neither are family if they are near)

    I may share a picture of my fixed up face sometime but right now I'm not confident to do so and I've never been one to plaster my unmake up face in public, which might seem strange since I put this out there, but it's still a form of camouflage isn't it :)

    If you are reading this far, thank you. Today's image... is... well let's see what I can find in my camera roll... Something funny for the internet... part of a fun/macabre garden installation I made with some trolls, ghosts (fake of course) and all sorts of things. Not everyone's cup of tea but it was one of my two finest pieces of work in my garden creations. I'm hoping to get back into that when it is a bit warmer perhaps. I might post the rest of it later today or tomorrow. Then a nice cheery one for balance :)

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    • 18/07/2019 by Milli

      Hi Tracey

      I sporadically donate on give-a-little when prompted through someone I know, but became curious about the site this week and somehow found your page whilst trying to see how it worked.

      I am so glad you have had a great response, you really deserve it. I was saddened to hear you’ve had a few negative comments.. I can’t imagine what could be said, weird, but there you go, they’re not all like us humans!

      I understand the lack of funding, so unfair - if your disability was caused through an accident etc they’d be tripping up over themselves to fund any wonderful thing you wanted! I am the permanent caregiver of a beautiful 13yr old girl who has fasd (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder). It is permanent brain damage caused by alcohol consumed during mother’s pregnancy. But sadly it is not a registered disability under current law - so, like you, there is no funding for it. And due to no funding, people aren’t being trained in it so there is a real lack of research, understanding and evidence based interventions. Fortunately for my “daughter” I have been able to get some assistance for her through oranga tamariki plus I am able to cater for her financially myself.

      I could go on about it all day - it’s been a 13 year journey afterall! And I’m sure you could too, and your story would be interesting 👍 but as you know, we just get on with it and count our blessings. So just a shout out that I get (some of) it! And I very much admire the grace with which you conduct yourself and your life and hope that your healing continues well.

      All the best

      Milli xx

  • Wheelchairs, Cats at Work, Rakes & my life as a not-ballerina

      14 July 2019
    Main image

    Hello,

    The editor of the article inadvertently put in the article that my wheelchair had tipped over. This is INCORRECT. It didn't fall over or flip over etc. At 130kgs it's highly unlikely to tip over and it's extremely robust. A few people have been upset at that, rather than the real issue. I don't want a few words (which I have asked to be edit) to derail what we are trying to achieve here.

    So now we've cleared that up, I am looking forward to getting my alarm on Tuesday (though I admit this makes me feel a bit like a little old lady - no offence to little old ladies - I am looking forward to becoming one, but not before I am 50 ideally!). It looks like I have enough funds to get one of the items on my goal list - thank you very very much.

    My next goal is to fund a bed riser or something similar to get my legs up and down safely to get in bed. As I stand or balance on only the tiniest bit of foot (maybe 4cmx2cm!) there's a lot of weight and balance going into not falling.

    I think in another life maybe I was meant to be a ballerina.!I do need to investigate that one first though and find out if there is anything more affordable and better - you just never know.

    Last night Socky helped me write thank you notes to each and every one of you. If you have the time and heart to donate, the least I can do is say thank you. There is a pic of him below asleep on the job... Yes too much mirth and mockery, he does have his own keyboard. It is the only thing that keeps him of "helping" me type. Everyone thought I was mad... but it worked! It's just a little $5 number pad but it did the trick...

    In my gallery is him asleep on the job!

    Yesterday we made it o the "trending" section of giving a little. I've never been trending in anything in my life except for my love of sequins, feathers and all things 1920'.

    If you can all please keep sharing my article around then the more people are aware of what is going on in many peoples homes - elderly, isolated, disabled - otherwise restricted by non-entitlement, or simply being unable to access simple things to make their life safer and 'normal' as possible.

    Yesterday I went to Mitre 10 and bought a kids rake. Well, I actually got two. The purpose of these is to enable me to scrape the litter boxes without bending over. Haven't quite got the solids sorted safely yet but where there's a will there's a way. I got something that will be ideal but I need to get my clever handyman or someone to fashion something so I don't have to bend down to get it. OnceI did almost end up face down in there...

    If anyone should read this and think I am not taking this seriously, I am taking it very very seriously. Humour is how I cope with things. Sometimes dark humour but most of the time silly things that amuse me as I write them (and I know I write novels - anyone still here) but I felt the need to say that as the internet can be a funny place, can't it.

    It's amazing what you can do with a kids rake - if anyone has any ideas how I can pick things up bigger than a hanky off the ground with a 'grabber' I'd most appreciate it. Something to grab or hold or slide something into so I can pick it up.

    Thinking about it all reminds me of just how much 'stuff" I need to achieve everyday tasks now without putting myself at risk of falling over. It's quite depressing really, not the cost of it, but that too, but the fact that after everything else in life I now have to have more *stuff*... Thank goodness we have a garage or the house will be full of wheelchairs!

    My name is Tracey and this is the end of today's update. I am going to check my lotto tickets I was given and see if I can refund all your payments... ;)

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  • Thank you...

      13 July 2019
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    Also, thank you to Kendall from Stuff who was very sensitive with the news article (she contacted me after seeing this and wanted to help)

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/114199335/woman-like-mike-tyson-opponent-after-fall-left-her-pinned-facedown-for-six-hours

    I was totally blown away by the number of donations I saw just now. All I can say is thank you, and thank you to those who have spread this around for me on social media.

    I am getting my safety alarm on Tuesday so that will be a big help. Right now I am struggling a lot with the mental/emotional side of things.... And the fact I look like I've had one too many sambucas (I don't drink)... Thank you all and I might upload some more images later xx

    Flowers from my beautiful friend Caroline :)

      1 comment  |  Login to leave a comment

    • 15/07/2019 by Helen

      Learning even part of your journey is so humbling, Tracey. The "book" was not too much. I hope you are eventually able to achieve the purchase of all that is necessary.

      You are loved. xxxxx

      Helen