A PB for PND

On New Years Eve (2022), I made a resolution to participate in the 2023 Queenstown Half Marathon.

This would be my first running event since having my beautiful babies, Tommy (nearly 3) and Emily (nearly 1), and my 10th half marathon overall. So it seemed fitting that it would be at the event where it all began for me in 2014.

My return to running is personally significant. It marks the beginning of a new chapter after an incredibly challenging start to motherhood.

I suffered from postnatal anxiety and depression with both of my babies. It’s a dark, terrifying place to be. Feelings of extreme fear and worry that consume your thoughts 24/7 and sit like a weight on your chest. Obsessive, terrified to leave the house, feeling no bond with your newborn baby, endless tears and not knowing if you will ever feel like yourself again. Then there is the very long wait for the medication to take effect, which is preceded by a further drop in mood before the fog begins to lift.

I was very lucky to have incredible support - my family, friends, midwife, doctor and the Christchurch Mothers and Babies unit - bringing me back to a better version of myself.

All new mums should receive that level of care and Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa advocate for this.

It’s unlikely I’ll run the whole thing, but I will finish it, and it will be a new PB for me in terms of the sense of achievement I will feel.

Please support me in my journey and consider donating to this important cause.