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Half Marathon for Cranford Hospice ❤️ In Memory of Dad ❤️

  • I Ran 21.1km!!!!

      18 November 2021
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    12 weeks ago I struggled to run 1km and on 7th Nov, I completed my Half Marathon.

    I’m so extremely grateful for all of the support I have received. It has been incredible and means the world to me to give back to Cranford Hospice after everything they have done.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my epic support crew! You honestly played such a part in getting me over that line! My Tauranga support crew..

    Ash, Rachael, Jimmy and Aileen you guys are absolute legends!! And my virtual support crew.. Liz, Lindsay, Tash, Caitlin, Ashleigh, Jessica, Jess, Rebecca, Melissa and Des.. I really felt you all there with me, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.

    With only 10 days left on the fundraiser, please feel free to share the link to your social media.

    I am one very grateful girl ✨

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  • Our Cranford whānau need our help 💕

      25 October 2021
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    I was approached by Cranford Hospice earlier this week asking if they could share our story as they had gone into crisis mode after having their largest fundraiser cancelled. Of course I was a little nervous but knew I wanted to do what I could to help those who helped us when we needed it most. Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far. I genuinely mean it when I say I am grateful for every single dollar. Our Cranford whānau need our help now 💕

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  • Thank you!!

      20 October 2021
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    Thank you to each and every one of you for following along with my posts for the last 2 weeks. I purposely posted these from the 6th - 20th as these are the same dates dad stayed at Cranford (Except he stayed in Nov). I wanted to give you a sense of the duration he stayed there and to also show you how much support they gave all of us for such a long period of time. My hope is to help raise awareness for the level of care Cranford Hospice provide to so many within the community. If you find yourself in a position where hospice care is required within your family, I can only hope that hearing the word ‘hospice’ may now bring you some comfort, rather than fear.

    This is why I’m running! And this is why I’m shamelessly posting so often, because it is a cause that is so incredibly close to my heart.

    I also want to thank a lot of you for reaching out and for all of the lovely words. I know it was probably quite heavy for some of you to read and because ‘cancer life’ was our world for so long, I forgot some of you were hearing about a lot of this for the first time. I just want you to know that since these photos were taken, I have had a beautiful year with a lot of healing time. Of course, I miss dad every day but I really have a lot to be grateful for and lots to keep me smiling.

    A huge thank you from the bottom of my very grateful heart for every single donation so far. I’m absolutely blown away by the support! I am leaving the fundraiser open for one more month so if you would still like to donate, there is still plenty of time 💕 Less than 3 weeks until race day 😬👏🏼 xx

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    • 21/10/2021 by Abbie

      Thank you Aimee on behalf of everyone at Cranford Hospice. We've been reading your updates and we so appreciate your heartfelt words raising awareness of what we do as much as raising crucial funds for us as well. You honour your dad and his journey beautifully. Nga mihi nui, Abbie

  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 14

      19 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 14:

    On 20th November at 4.35am, dad took his final breath. The morning dad passed was so surreal. I remember stepping outside into the hospice garden and watching the sunlight fill the sky and listening to the birds sing. It was hard to believe that after 22 months since dad’s diagnosis, riding the biggest roller coaster of my life, dad was finally out of pain.

    There are a few rituals/traditions that the hospice does when someone passes and one of those is that they have the candle in the foyer going for everyone to remember them and pay their respects. It was so heart-warming but also hard to fathom that on this day, the candle was for my dad. Once it was time for dad to leave the hospice, the staff then do something that I have not yet been able to think about without welling up. The staff all lined the hallway to pay their respects to dad and to farewell our family. The warm faces surrounding us gave us that final strength to take dad to the hearse. It was time for him to return home. For me, this is a true representation of them supporting you until the very end.

    I will forever be so grateful for everything the hospice did for me, my family and most of all, for my dad. Xx

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 13

      18 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 13:

    I feel like being with someone when they take their last breath is not something that is discussed within society. This can then create a lot of fear in the lead up, not knowing what you’re in for. The hospice provided so much support and preparation about what we may expect when ‘the end’ is near. When dad’s time came, they were so calm and caring and incredible supportive. They made sure they looked after dad and treated him with such kindness and respect. You really feel the love and warmth from everyone. Although this may be their job, they are human too and you can see their hurt or that it moves them also.

    Words that we said so often during our weeks in hospice was how much of a privilege it was to be supporting dad. When someone is nearing the end of their life, how special it is to spend their final moments with them. I’m so grateful to the hospice staff for their involvement and I hope in their incredibly challenging jobs, they feel that privilege also.

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 12

      17 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 12:

    I moved home to New Zealand 18months before dad went to hospice, not knowing how long he had left. It felt like a long time to be living completely absorbed in the cancer world and it’s safe to say that sometimes I was scraping the bottom of the barrel for strength. By the time we stayed at the hospice, we were already feeling extremely tired.

    Days at hospice are long. You are exhausted in all ways possible. From the minute you wake up, you are caring for someone and keeping an eye on their pain.. Trying to keep all of your loved ones updated.. Meeting with the doctors.. Greeting family and friends coming to spend time with dad. I remember I would wake up in the whānau room and although I felt like I had nothing in the tank, I would immediately want to know how dad’s night had been and would want to get up and spend time with him.

    I really can’t express enough how you become grateful for the smallest of things and how much you soak up little moments when you get them. This photo was taken in dad’s final few days. He was unconscious by this point, but I know he was still in there and absorbing all his family’s love for him. Just lying next to him, feeling his presence and holding his warm hand was so special.

    I’m so grateful to Cranford Hospice for providing a calm and safe place where I could enjoy these moments. If we ever felt concerned, we would call the buzzer and someone would be with you within minutes. If dad had of died at home, which is what we originally intended, I think moments like these would have been filled with a lot more worry.

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 11

      17 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 11:

    The hospice is a beautiful and welcoming place for families to come together and surround their loved one. Dad had so many visits from people he loved and I remember us saying how much harder it would have been to manage the amount of people if we were at home. There are so many rooms and spaces which means you can gather together as well as give people privacy to spend time with dad alone. The day this photo was taken, dad had more energy than we had seen in quite some time. He managed to keep his head up and stay awake for hours, it was such a special day. I also feel the purple socks need a mention haha these were donated to the hospice and were the only socks that could fit his extremely swollen feet. We had so many giggles at his fluffy purple socks. You may have noticed a bit of a common theme also in these posts and that is how many items are donated to the hospice to keep them going.

    As much as I am extremely grateful for the hospice, I know they are also just as grateful for the support they receive in return. The donations they receive enables them to continue to give their patients the very best, just as they deserve 💕

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 10

      15 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 10:

    Something that I hadn’t expected was the impact the other families in hospice would have on our experience. Everyone’s experience can vary so much but one thing you all have in common is that you are losing someone to a terminal illness. After what can be quite an isolating journey, you are suddenly surrounded by people who are feeling the same as you and you all are in it together. I will really cherish some of these moments from hospice.

    Faces in the hallway became familiar and small moments like a shared cup of tea or a quick comforting hug could be just what you needed to get through the next few hours. You see so much love in a hospice as families gather together to support each other. When another families loved one passes, you feel their loss and pain. I’m so thankful we all had the hospice as our safe space. Never underestimate the impact you can have on another person in their hard times.

    Also a good reminder that you never know what people are going through. That grumpy person at work might be facing their hardest challenges at home. That annoying person standing in the middle of the supermarket aisle might be doing their best to make it through the day… every one is fighting their own battles… In a world where you can be anything, be kind ✨

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 9

      14 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 9:

    Dad’s cancer was primarily in his stomach and by the end he had a tumour that was so large it was visible from the outside. This meant that finding a comfortable position was a real challenge for him. The staff were amazing at helping us get creative and find the equipment we needed to keep him comfortable. He would sleep in some bizarre positions which we would often chuckle at. Often they would come in and he would be on his lazy boy flopped forward onto his tray table with pillows all around him, which we would always assure them, that was exactly how he wanted to be. As the days progressed, we really leant on the staff to help us learn to position him to help him find comfort. They were so patient and kind and I admire them so much to this day. We then had to learn to step back more each day within our ‘nurse’ roles as we were becoming out of our depth. The nurses made it easier for us to do this as they treated dad with such warmth and respect. Dad was so incredibly thankful to them and even with the small amount of energy he had, he would thank them and express his gratitude for their kindness.

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 8

      13 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 8:

    During our time staying at Cranford Hospice, we were able to see the volunteers coming to do the gardens and it was so lovely seeing how much time and care was put into keeping it such a nice space. There is so much that goes into keeping the hospice running. I began to learn how many people and companies contribute time and products behind the scenes, which all add to the experience. There were such beautiful flowers around, bringing a warmth to the hallways and I heard that someone had donated them after their wedding! The lazy boy that dad lived in while he was there had been donated by a family… All of these little things really do add to making it the beautiful place that it is.

    I know I’ve said it many times, but the hospice can begin to feel like your home and everyone there feels like your family, getting you through each day. I think I began to feel too much at home when everyone was in their work attire Mon-Fri and I was just lounging about in my slippers haha your world really does become so small during times like this.

    I remember one night, I went to the supermarket and it just felt so surreal. I found myself looking around at people just going about their normal day and it just blew my mind. I remember feeling relieved to get back ‘home’ to hospice and back to being near dad.

    I really am so grateful we were able to have this time with hospice as our safe space and for the precious memories made while we were there.

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 7

      12 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 7:

    As I said yesterday, it’s the small things that get you through these days. This was dad watching his last game of rugby.. It took so much energy to get to this bed from his lazy boy but he was determined… only to fall straight asleep haha but all of these little things become the nice memories. I was staying in the whānau room for most of our hospice stay. I remember one night getting back to my room and the nurse had closed my window and put my lamp on for me. Such a small gesture but I always knew that they were caring for me too. When I couldn’t sleep or would wake at night, I could go out to the main hallway and have a snuggle with the hospice cat, Fran, and ask a nurse how dad’s night was going. I also must mention our amazing family members and friends that would bring food in to keep us going. Having something quick and easy made for you makes the world of difference. You can be so busy caring for someone else it can become easy to forget to care for yourself. The support around us never went unnoticed.

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 6

      11 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 6:

    It really is the small things that do not go unnoticed. The amazing kitchen staff were so lovely to be around. I would often bump into them in the kitchen and they would give a warm smile or a listening ear when I didn’t even know I needed it. Nothing was an issue and they were so kind and caring. Dad’s food was always delivered with beautiful flowers on the tray, even if all he ate every day was ice cream (donated by Rush Munro’s.. Yum!). The lovely cleaner had me laughing on the daily. The reception staff would always greet me with a beautiful warmth and I felt welcomed the minute I entered the building. You really feel so supported by the entire team. Even now, almost a year since losing dad, I know if I was really struggling, they would find a way to make sure I felt supported. I contacted them to let them know about the fundraiser and they have been amazing in helping me with anything I need and have reassured me that they are all fully behind my training in spirit and are cheering me on from afar.

    I would never wish for anyone to go through losing a loved one but if that day comes, my only wish is that everyone can feel supported by a community like the Cranford family 💕

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 5

      10 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 5:

    We had discussed previously that dad’s wishes were to die at home but a few days into his hospice stay, it was evident that this was the right place for him and we accepted that this was where he would be until the end.

    In dads first few days in hospice, our walks became very special and memorable for us. We were always greeted with the biggest smiles in the hallway from all of the staff as we would head out on our little walk. It was honestly such a relief to have all of the medical pressure off our shoulders because it meant we just got to spend these moments with dad. We would walk around the streets and then finish in the beautiful gardens looking at the flowers. Dad expressed how much he enjoyed these walks and I just remember soaking up his presence so much and enjoying every second because you just never knew what moment would be your ‘last’. As dads illness progressed, I remember waking up one day and knowing that today he would no longer make it to the wheelchair for our walk. It’s funny how many ‘normal’ moments we can take for granted in our daily life. I’ve taken so many lessons from this time and I can genuinely say I’m grateful every day for small moments in this beautiful life we live. Don’t wait until someone is terminal to soak up the seconds 😉 x

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 4

      9 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 4:

    Dad had yet another night of almost no sleep due to the amount of pain he was in. His case had become quite complex and his GP was working close with the hospice to try come up with the right balance of pain meds vs nausea meds. On 6 Nov 2020, they decided it would be a good idea to get him into the hospice for the weekend so that they could try get him comfortable. These first few days were spent taking turns in rubbing dads back and having heat packs (all made and donated by volunteers) on a constant rotation. We had a daily meeting with the medical team, who were absolutely amazing at making sure the whole family felt included in the discussions. The staff are so in tune with what the patients need and have incredible communication between the different departments to look at the patient as a whole. When someone you love is terminal, death becomes such a normal topic within the family and I felt this made me even more aware of how scared we are as a society to discuss it. Would you know your loved ones wishes if they were to pass unexpectedly? I’m really grateful for the guidance of Cranford Hospice to help us navigate our way through these topics. As I’m sure you can tell, it’s now something I’m pretty comfortable discussing. Those closest to us had to learn to be comfortable with our ridiculously dark humour 😬😅 #sorrynotsorry

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 3

      8 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 3:

    If dad had his headphones in, you knew he was in a lot of pain and was trying to drown it out. Watching someone you love deteriorate in front of you can be extremely challenging. When you find out your loved one is terminal, it is common to experience anticipatory grief. It can also be very common to experience thoughts like “I just wish this was all over”… which you then feel very guilty for. These are topics you don’t tend to hear much about until you are in the thick of it, which can all feel very overwhelming and isolating. I’m extremely grateful that I was able to receive counselling, free of charge through Cranford Hospice. I feel like I was taught so many lessons and this has made me feel like the grieving process has been a lot ‘easier’ or ’healthier’ for me. During the lockdown last year, I would go sit in my car with my cup of tea and have a phone session. Even a pandemic doesn’t stop the hospice doing what they can to offer support to all involved.

    We received comments from the hospice staff about how much you could feel the love within our family and how we would often have the ability to smile or laugh, even in some of the hardest days. I’m so grateful to be a part of such a strong and loving family. If I didn’t make the most of the incredible counselling available to us, I’m not sure I would have had the same mindset and I’m so thankful that they helped me bring the best version of myself that I could to this bloody hard roller coaster. That’s not to say some days I didn’t struggle or deal with things badly but I honestly feel like I’ve become so much stronger over the last 2.5 years and I’m so grateful for their support that helped get me through.

    There is no shame in accepting help in your hard days ✌🏼😘

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 2

      7 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 2:

    Dad’s cancer journey involved a lot of constant medication changes to try stay on top of his pain and discomfort. When you have no knowledge in the medical world it can be a lot to learn. For quite some time, dad had a syringe driver which meant daily visits from hospice staff to check the driver as well as teaching us how top it up when the pain was worse. It’s weird how cancer can change your life in an instant and before you know it, putting things like morphine into your dad’s body begins to feel ‘normal’. There was so much comfort in knowing that you could call the hospice 24/7 and they would be there to talk you through any concerns. If dad had a hard night, you knew a nurse would be there the next day to check in on him. In classic dad nature, no matter how sick or tired he was, he always wanted to sit at the table with the nurses and have a chat.

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  • THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 1

      6 October 2021
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    To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx

    THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 1:

    Once dad had finished his rounds of chemo, he was then referred to the hospice. Our family had an appointment early on to become familiar with the grounds and hear about what services they had to offer. Before we knew it, the nurses were visiting home often to help with dad’s pain and meds. The nurses are honestly such amazing people and dad developed a lovely relationship with many of them. I began attending counselling at the hospice which was such a help through the tough days and meant that when the end came, the hospice already felt like such a safe and supportive place to be. Before dad got cancer, my view of a hospice was a dark place where people just go to die. I learnt that it is such a beautiful place that provides so much to patients and families and my hope over the next 14 days is to show you that 😊

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  • Announcing my fundraiser 😬

      3 October 2021

    Kia ora family and friends! As a few of you know, I started training during lockdown for the Tauranga City to Surf Half Marathon. I wanted to prove to myself I could do it, but my biggest motivation has been to raise money for Cranford Hospice. As many of you know they played a huge part in Dad’s cancer journey and were a huge support for all our family.

    Cranford Hospice support over 200 patients and their families each day, most in their own homes – from Mahia through to Takapau – to improve the quality of life that remains for each person. Their service cost just under $7million this year, of which only 51% is government funded. This leaves $3.5million that needs to be raised through fundraising (In just 1 year alone). This support is at NO CHARGE to patients or their whānau.

    I really don’t even know how to express the impact they have or how grateful I am for them, the warmth they provide in the darkest days will be in my heart forever. It’s time for me to do what I can to thank them.. but I need your help!! If you would like to donate, please click on the link below. I truly mean it when I say no donation is too small.. Every Cent Counts! Alternatively, please feel free to share this post.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart! In the meantime, I shall keep training for the big day 😉

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