To help me fundraise for the hospice, I’ve decided to post a photo a day for 14 days - one for every day dad was in hospice. Please note, I am only writing about my experience and some of the content may feel sensitive to some people xx
THIS IS HOSPICE - DAY 12:
I moved home to New Zealand 18months before dad went to hospice, not knowing how long he had left. It felt like a long time to be living completely absorbed in the cancer world and it’s safe to say that sometimes I was scraping the bottom of the barrel for strength. By the time we stayed at the hospice, we were already feeling extremely tired.
Days at hospice are long. You are exhausted in all ways possible. From the minute you wake up, you are caring for someone and keeping an eye on their pain.. Trying to keep all of your loved ones updated.. Meeting with the doctors.. Greeting family and friends coming to spend time with dad. I remember I would wake up in the whānau room and although I felt like I had nothing in the tank, I would immediately want to know how dad’s night had been and would want to get up and spend time with him.
I really can’t express enough how you become grateful for the smallest of things and how much you soak up little moments when you get them. This photo was taken in dad’s final few days. He was unconscious by this point, but I know he was still in there and absorbing all his family’s love for him. Just lying next to him, feeling his presence and holding his warm hand was so special.
I’m so grateful to Cranford Hospice for providing a calm and safe place where I could enjoy these moments. If we ever felt concerned, we would call the buzzer and someone would be with you within minutes. If dad had of died at home, which is what we originally intended, I think moments like these would have been filled with a lot more worry.