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Helping create change around mental health

  • Reason 3....

      2 November 2022

    Part 3 of why I am doing this Gumboot marathon…

    Jeremy Keith Dawson

    Or ‘Daws’ as he was known to most.

    Everyone’s best mate. Always quick for a yarn or to break out the spoons for a sing-a-long. The life of the party.

    A lot of people just link I AM HOPE and Gumboot Friday to suicide.

    It is important to point out that we didn’t lose Daws to suicide. But we did lose him and partly due to mental health struggles.

    I first met Daws when I moved to Matamata Primary School and we quickly became friends running around the playground doing kid stuff. I think I even went for my first sleepover at his place.

    Another school change and we drifted but reconnected at high school and after leaving school we played footy for Hinuera Rugby club (up the Hinny Colts ⬛️🟨), flatted together and had a pretty tight knit crew that spent a massive amount of time together.

    Everyone that knew him knew Daws was a clever bastard, loved his sports, and loved a drink.

    What a lot of us didn’t know was that behind everything Daws suffered from anxiety and depression that ultimately led to an alcohol addiction.

    An addiction that he tried his best to beat, but ultimately robbed his family and friends of their husband, father, son, brother, uncle and mate.

    I didn’t truely know how much Daws had battled this until talking with his sister Catherine at Jeremy’s memorial service.

    Daws was a larger than life character and has left a massive hole in peoples lives.

    It is important to know mental health struggles don’t necessarily mean suicide attempts. People battling their demons can try and mask the pain by other means, alcohol included, and it can ultimately lead to the same loss so please check on your mates and loved ones and reach out to them if you need to.

    Take it easy up there big fella 🥄

    #IAMHOPE

    #gumbootfriday

    #mentalhealthawareness

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  • Reason 2 Why I am doing this...

      19 October 2022

    Continuing on from my previous post about why I am attempting to run a marathon in gumboots to support I AM HOPE….

    You will notice a picture of a couple holding a photo. That couple is Natasha and Seaton Dalley. The photo they are holding is of their son Blake.

    Tash & Seaton lost their beloved Blake at the age of 13. That’s right, 13.

    I never met Blake.

    I have never met Tash.

    Many years ago, growing up in Matamata, I played footy against Seaton. I even put the roof on his house many moons ago.

    And as a young buck starting out in the gym, Seatons father Bob, who was a bit of a bodybuilding guru, would go out of his way to help all the newbies get their head around weight training. Word on the street is he does.

    What I do know from my experiences and from talking to others who know the Dalley’s, is that they are bloody nice people who have experienced something no parent should ever have to.

    When I heard their story, the first thing I did was go home and hug my kids.

    I can’t imagine what Natasha, Seaton, their other children and extended family have been through, but I sure as hell know that I want to do whatever I can to prevent this situation happening again.

    My words can’t do it justice, so please take a moment to read the below article and hear it in Natasha and Seatons own words

    https://www.nowtolove.co.nz/.../blake-dalley-death-45117.

    To every parent, take a moment and understand that this could be any of us. Hug your kids, tell them you love them, and look for any signs of different behaviour.

    And if you are able, please donate, every dollar counts.

    Last year I Am Hope conducted 19,122 counselling sessions with young people. Twice as many than govt funded departments, and at under a third of the cost of govt run sessions.

    They are estimating that over the next year they will conduct 39,000 sessions, so they need all the help that they can get as they (still) get no govt funding.

    #IAMHOPE

    #gumbootfriday

    #mentalhealthawareness

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  • Why am I doing this?

      19 October 2022

    So a lot of people are asking me why the hell I am trying to run a marathon in gumboots.

    I guess it’s a bloody good question, so I suppose I’ll start with the images on my fundraiser poster…

    Top right, Martin Teo Guan Leng.

    Marty.

    “Freestyler”

    Teacher in training.

    Up and coming rugby referee.

    Best mate.

    Marty and I bonded over our studies and love of sport and techno music haha. Many a night out before waking up the next day and playing back yard cricket.

    I was bad at cricket and I’m sure frustrated the hell out of Marty as he would try and teach me the nuances of batting and bowling, before I would just slog and hope for the best.

    The early hours of Monday 5th March 2001 is a night I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

    The flashing lights, the banging on the door. Putting my pillow over my head to “drown out our drunk mates trying to get into our flat”.

    Walking downstairs to tell them to piss off and being confronted by 2 police officers blinding me with their torch before informing me that Marty had taken his life.

    No f*&%ing way. Bulls*&t. This isn’t real.

    The deafening silence as I tried to understand the words that were wafting around my head before having to explain to the flatmates what had just been relayed.

    All the superlatives to describe my/our disbelief and trying to comprehend the reality of the situation.

    Marty had suffered from his mental health most of his life. For the most of it he was able to control his thoughts and actions.

    But changes started to manifest. Marty knew himself. He sought help. Was turned away and told he had to give the new treatment time to work.

    He sought help again. And was turned away again.

    Marty knew something was wrong. He knew the new treatment wasn’t working and he was regressing. He was sent away, and in his mind he he had to remove himself before something happened. He chose to remove himself to try and get on top of things by himself.

    He chose to remove himself, and something happened.

    One final hug and a ‘You got this bro’.

    I’ll never, stress never, forget the final image of him as he drove his yellow ford laser up the driveway. His hair typically dishevelled. Blue framed smith glasses with yellow lenses. The wave and vacant look in the eyes.

    On one hand hoping everything would be ok. On the other, not actually knowing at all.

    But never for one moment anticipating that knock on the door that was to follow only days later.

    A life full of potential, cut agonisingly short due to a system that couldn’t help.

    The scary thing is this happened 21 years ago, and yet today in 2022, we are still facing a system that can’t/won’t/doesn’t have the resources to cope.

    Thank god for the like of John Kirwan and Mike King tackling the topic of mental health head on, and organisations like I AM HOPE for the work they do in offering free counselling.

    How many more Marty’s could there have been if they hadn’t been given the opportunity these organisations afford those in need.

    Just one of the reasons why I am trying to fundraise to help I Am Hope continue with all their amazing work.

    #IAMHOPE

    #gumbootfriday

    #mentalhealthawareness

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