OUR VISION To enable communities to tackle domestic violence at its core, and keep our families and society safe.
New Zealand /Aotearoa has the worst domestic violence statistics in the developed world. It's one of our most significant social issues. Over 500,000 incidents are estimated to happen every year (80% go unreported), and it costs the country an estimated $4billion ($4,000,000,000) minimum every year (that's at least $839 for every man, woman and child). And it's not going away. Every year, around 13 women, 10 men and 9 children die through domestic violence - an issue that becomes normalised within families, through generations.
It has to stop.
Founded by Vic Tamati, (face of the It's Not OK Campaign), Safe Man Safe Family exists to reduce domestic violence by tackling the people who are most broken - the perpetrators – with peer-led stopping violence programmes that truly connect.
We know that most of these people have grown up themselves in a violent home, without mentors, often with deprivation. They've literally been hard-wired as little kids to use violence as their default coping mechanism – with terrible results for their partners and children.
It has to stop.
We need dedicated peer-led stopping violence programmes to work with the perpetrators of violence to help break the violence cycle, to help them heal themselves, and support others too.
Locking them up doesn't work. Anger management programmes work for a limited few.
But we do know that men who complete most of a stopping violence programme are 80% less likely to continue offending. So why on earth aren't we, as a country, doing more of them?
These are men who were once just kids.
Just a kid who had hopes and dreams.
Just a kid who grew up to be the sort of man he never wanted to be.
Just a man who once trusted his parents and grandparents to teach him how to behave – but was betrayed and broken because no one stepped in for him.
We are stepping in for these men now, and for their families. So their children do not have to walk the same path.
Safe Man Safe Family leads talks and programmes in at risk areas; we speak to at risk groups; we mentor and work with men to help them find ways to leave violence behind, so their families do not continue the cycle. We step in at the top of the cliff to prevent the carnage at the bottom.
The work we do is difficult and intensive. Change can take a matter of years, not weeks or months. But it is effective.
Our goal is to roll out our programmes across New Zealand. We already have a skilled team behind us, and we are currently trying to fund a full pilot programme and evaluation in South Auckland. But we currently get no government funding. (Hopefully this will change. We urge you to write to your local MP to tell them about us and what we do.)
But in the meantime, you can contribute to our work and help us reach more people.
Can you give $10? $20? More? Every little helps.
(Just imagine, if we were able to achieve only a 1% reduction in family violence, it would mean over 5,000 less incidents and a 40 million dollars saving to the economy.)
More about us
The Safe Man Safe Family Charitable Trust was founded 10 years ago by Vic Tamati (It's Not Ok Campaign) to reduce domestic violence in Aotearoa New Zealand by tackling the people who are most broken - the perpetrators – with peer-led stopping violence programmes that truly connect.
Our goal is to have stopping violence programmes across the country that offer culturally appropriate, workable solutions to address our legacy of family and whanau violence.
Safe Man Safe Family - 20/20 Video