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A family desperately in need.

  • Thank you

      28 April 2018

    To recap on the history my friends and family, and their friends and families we had been fundraising and sorting out a plan to get me to Sydney to see Dr Raj Reddy, my former neurosurgeon in Australia, so he could do something the New Zealand health system seems incapable of doing.

    Fixing my head issues.

    This shall probably be the last Give a Little update.

    I am truly humbled and awed by the response to our request for help.

    Friends, family, and everything in-between, whilst thanks to everything that has happened to us in the last few years, and the head/personality/mental health issues, I was largely separated from the world and disconnected, the events of the last few months have initiated a bit of a reconnection.

    Being pushed so close to the edge the only way to survive was to ask for help.

    Asking for help is/was a very foreign concept to me. Not because of pride, but because of an awareness that I am not special, and everyone has issues and life to deal with.

    There are people who went above and beyond of anything that one could ever hope for when in need of assistance. Eternally grateful.

    Those that helped me retain my sanity after being bedridden for six weeks, Your personality, humour and love made the time more bearable.

    There are countless more people that have my love, respect and appreciation for everything they have done to help me in getting my life back. Thank you.

    Adding to the stress, our financial position was severely compromised because the government cut our support as soon as I left the country.

    I don't tick the correct boxes, and due to the haste with which I had to leave, I could not apply for an exemption.

    So,

    I was in Sydney for seven and a half weeks. I was released from hospital three and a half weeks ago.

    The entire time in hospital was spent in constant pain, laying down, bedridden, except to shower/bathroom. Those times I was upright to freshen up always resulting in a massive increase in pain, followed by heavy medication and rest.

    Raj did not waste any time, thankfully, the first week and a half was, after surgery for monitoring equipment placement, spent in HDU, tethered to a monitor and a computer. Unable to leave my bed for anything.

    Was an upleasant period, though it was helped by the fact my dear brother, Aaron Harris, paid for my dad to fly down and stay in Sydney for a week, so I was not alone for the first week.

    The results from monitoring showing I was still over draining brain juice. My poor noggin.

    Raj was unsure how to proceed, in a manner that was going to aid and not harm me. Alot of factors to consider.

    I fell into a very deep and dark hole for a while, spent alot of time in tears. I was alone, physically, desperately disconnected from my dear family, fearful I would not see them again, fearful there was no resolution.

    This was of course not helped by the fact I had not been receiving my mood stabilisers for a week and a half.

    But thanks to that realisation, and the staff at the hospital, I was able to pull myself out.

    Then it just turned into a waiting game.

    Raj had clinics in Port Macquarrie to attend and seminars, he also wanted a second opinion from two doctors, one another neurosurgeon, and the other a shunt specialist. Both of these people are extremely busy and because I was mostly stable, in constant pain but not life-threatening, It took a while to see them.

    The shunt specialist was amazing, I have never had a doctor understand so completely what I was experiencing. Was truly a fantastic experience and one I am truly grateful for.

    She recommended a revision, just what we had hoped.

    A bit more waiting, I was also bumped from the list and had to wait a further week due to emergencies. Completely understandable.

    The surgery went ahead, without complications thankfully, and a week later I was released.

    The effects of the surgery were instant, the hell and dark fog I have been living with for so long, lifted.

    I had forgotten what it felt like to feel so good, so normal.

    We are still yet to see what damage has been sustained by such severe and prolonged stress and trauma to my brain.

    Time will tell.

    Still have to heal from the surgery and rebuild my muscle tone from being dormant for so long.

    Regardless, I still count this as a massive success and I am absolutely loving the integration back into my family.

    I took my children to the circus without animals, We all bloody loved it, were the loudest family there.

    We go for walks around the block near every day, just enjoying each others company, even when Lily trips over and packs it. She is feisty

    Playing outside in the autumn sun, for at least an hour.

    Helping cooking, cleaning, general house and family stuff. The seemingly mundane day to day chores are so bloody wonderful.

    I have not been able to even think of doing any of that over the last one and a half years. Awesome, in the truest sense of the word.

    We can rebuild our lives and relationships.

    The future is waiting for us.

    I know it has been a long tale, and I thank you for sticking with me.

    My dear friends, we now move forward.

    My sweet lady, Sonya Hargreaves, knows my heart, and my gratitude for her and everything she does and puts up with from me and my health.

    All I can offer in return for everything, at this stage, is my deepest gratitude.

    One day I hope I will be able to repay, in whatever manner, the generosity and love I have been shown from so many different sources.

    I am lucky and blessed to share my life with you.

    Love and hugs

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  • Thank you

      10 March 2018

    I/we are still trying to raise funds so this effort to get my life and family back doesn't put us further behind the eight ball like it has in the past, alot more on the line now.

    My deepest love and gratitude to those that have contributed, and continue to contribute. You know who you are, words fail me at the response I have had.

    The support and kindness I have received is truly amazing

    If you are reading this, I emplore you to please share this through your social media networks.

    These things work the best if more people know.

    $1 is not alot, but that amount from 5000 people is huge.

    The cost of what we are going through keeps rising because it is not only the obvious costs, but the not so obvious costs that seem unrelated but are still important. Yes, even groceries.

    I know from some quarters there are those that doubt the need, importance and even our honesty in asking for help.

    Those that know me know how difficult it is for me to shine a light on myself, I do not like attention, and rarely do I ask for help from anyone.

    If you feel this way please do not contribute.

    This request for assistance is life changing for me and my family.

    I am suffering. Every day is filled with pain.

    Pain of the head and of my soul. Being forced by medical and acc negligence to live this way is unfair. Unfair to me and unfair to my beautiful family, a family who are losing their dad and husband.

    To think that one and a half years ago I was a happy healthy father of two, just beginning a three year computing degree, working part time in the evenings to help our situation, drug free.

    Now I barely leave the house, spend alot of time in bed, can't lift or play with my children, and cannot even unload a dishwasher.

    I am plagued with personality issues and brain failures, medicated now for these and other associated issues. Eating pain killers to try escape the torment. Even sleep is not an escape from the pain sometimes.

    My love and admiration to all that have helped, in a huge way or a small way, you are truly special.

    Thank you

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