Regret isn't something I am very familiar with. If you asked me last year I would say I have no regrets... not one. All experiences were good experiences, placed in front of us to help us grow.
But when Whity got diagnosed with cancer it hit me. I found myself sitting and wishing. Wishing I didn't live my life as if I had unlimited days on this earth. A fire in my chest ignited. A knot in my tummy formed. A wave of regret washed over me. I wish we didn't waste out time together chasing societies ideals and expectations.
I wish we had of moved home sooner. We always had it in the back of our minds. After we graduated we said. After we had 2 years work experience. After we built our cabin. After we brought a new truck. After the boys finished intermediate. After, after after.
There was always this strange entitlement to time. We thought we had time. We pushed our dreams back further as we traveled deeper into the rat race. I wish we had of moved home sooner.
The night we found out Whity had cancer we lay in the hospital house bed and made plans. With perfect clarity. We knew for certain that we wanted to move home.
And last week we did it. We stopped the 'next year' lies we told ourselves and just did it.
I wish we had of moved home sooner. I wish we didn't keep saying next year. I promise we will not keep waiting to live our lives. We will chase our happiness now.