Give My Mum One Wish

my Father died suddenly from leukemia four years ago, (he also had melanoma and leiomyosarcoma - muscle cancer) and left my Mother who is 77! She is elderly, and a bit restricted with her arthritis. Recently she had a fall which resulted in a 9 day hospital stay. She is back at her dwelling - a small community village that she rents in Hamilton. Not a rest home.

My mother is an amazing woman. She doesn't give herself enough credit. She left home at the age of 16 and became a Nun. She taught Piano. She left the convent when she was about 40 or just over and felt she was shunted out - just because she wanted to have a family. She was teaching Piano at Sacred Heart Girls College when she answered an advertisement in the paper where my Father was looking for a border. (his previous wife died shortly before that of cancer). I am not sure how their relationship progressed but they were married and had me! My mother was 45 when she had me.

She got cancer when I was 10. We almost lost her, it was very bad. She was hospitalized 13 times and had chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I clearly remember walking up to the hospital every day after school. We were very lucky. Growing up, I didn't have all the mod cons. My Father was a mobile mechanic which didn't bring in a lot back then. They still did their best to make sure I had what I needed throughout life.

As soon as my Father died his WILL/ESTATE was frozen. And because everything was in my fathers name, that meant that my mother had no access to anything. (my father had an inheritence from his parents in a term deposit) his three other children - all older than me contested his WILL. (first marriage). This went on for two years, and the lawyers fees took most of it. Over $50,000! This took a huge toll on my mother. It took a huge toll on finances, and also the house that is in Tokoroa. During the two years the house needed major repairs - and they couldn't get done because the ESTATE was frozen. It depreciated by $15,000! She was forced to sell everything - and put the money into the estate.

After all of that she was left with enough money to help us do our bathroom - at our old place, as I was expecting my daughter and their was a huge hole in the floor and under the shower. It was my husbands house which he inherited from his father as an unfinished project! We never thought that we would move from there, hence the reason she paid for the bathroom to be fixed. But on the whole, it wasn't suitable to bring up a child in. It had no carpet/lino, or heating. It was going to cost far too much to bring it up to a healthy standard enough to raise a baby in. It would never get a code of compliance!

She still has the house in Tokoroa, but the value has dropped by $20,000 just in the four years and another $20,000 that it needs in repairs - due to not being able to do them when they happened with the ESTATE being frozen.

She is lucky that she has a tenant in it at the moment, but as you could imagine it's no 'income'. It's enough to pay the tax, the accountant and a little bit towards daycare for my daughter.

My Mother never wanted for anything.

I feel helpless as the only thing that she does want - is to live in a shack attached to our garage at our house here in Morrinsville. It costs $25 petrol to visit her in Hamilton, so I only go in once a fortnight when she needs her groceries.

She said a caravan would be fine but with her mobility issues she wouldn't be able to get in and out of it, or get inside to the toilet. She has an almost 2 year old granddaughter. My husband and I have been trying to figure out a way that we could make it work, but we don't have the money to make it happen, since getting a mortgage 10 months ago, plus our local council is tight on rules and regulations, so we wouldn't just be able to whack something together. It wouldn't even have to be a flashy granny flat, just one of those cheapy studio/cabin things. Could customize it to make it cheaper - just a one room studio or cabin with a wetfloor shower/toilet would be all she needs, enough room for her chair and TV. It must have heating, so I am guessing a heat pump would be the cheapest option.

I want her to live the rest of her years happy.

I want her to spend as much time with her one and only granddaughter.

Your help will be greatly appreciated.