Help me become a complete person

My name is Alexandra. I'm 33 years old and from west Auckland. All my life I have known something was different about me, but only in the last few years have I figured out what it was.

I am a transgender woman. I knew when I was a child, but trauma caused me to stuff it down. Doing so made me depressed, took away all hope for my future. I never had ambition or goals. I just existed. Continuing to do that was all I could manage. In my twenties, I had a series of serious accidents at home. I lost effective use of my hands, injured my back, and received head injuries that make life difficult.

In my early thirties, I went to sleep one night, and awoke a completely different person. Overnight, the walls I had built to protect myself had crumbled, and I realized I was trans. Everything about me changed in an instant. I became hopeful, bubbly, full of happiness and energy. I cast off the sad, hopeless boy i was and became something new. Then slowly, I realized something. I can never truly be a complete person, never gain true happiness, without alignment of body and mind. Without bottom surgery.

But how? It's expensive, and due to my injuries, I can't work, and learning new things is so difficult, again due to injury. How can I, without my hands, find work that can provide the funds needed? How can I, with the damage to my brain, study and upskill to find such a job that requires little use of hands?

I don't know. so I turn to you, the people. Please, help me become complete.