Help me in my further discernment

Hello! My name is Anggha Nugraha and I'm a 32-year old Catholic who is in his vocational discernment at this moment. The journey of my vocation has not always been easy. For quite a long time, every time I told my parents about my desire to join religious life, they would always say no to me. The last time they said no to me, I finally decided to give up the thought and just went on with my life, tried to pursue my degree as high as possible. This made me moved to New Zealand to do my PhD in Mathematics at the University of Canterbury.

However, as most of the times, God's plan is such a surprise for us. Instead of abandoning the thought of joining religious life, I had a chance to meet with the Brothers of St. John (motherhouse in France) and it ignited back in my heart this fire to join them. After getting to know them for some times, I approached the end of my PhD study and so I told my parents that I would join the Brothers. Once again, they said no but then I insisted and told them that I simply had to go to really know what God wants me to do in my life. And so, in 2018 I travelled to The Philippines and I was accepted as one of their novices there.

However, to cut the story short, after some experiences I had to go through and careful discernment, I decided that I couldn't continue my journey there. It was hard for me at that time, but slowly I could accept that if God allowed me going through that process, it would be for my good. Months after I left, I started to make a contact with one Benedictine monastery in France. The prior and I have been in contact ever since. I told him everything that I had experienced during my noviciate and thanks be to God, his respond was very positive and an encouraging one. He invited me to come to his monastery to try to live together with them and see whether their way of life is a fit for me (and I for them!) or not. If each of us thinks that I should formally apply to enter, then I will go back home for some times --- this requires by the Rule of St. Benedict --- and come back later on.

This fundraise I organise for now is for my first visit to the monastery. Normally I should have had a bit of money to go there. However, few weeks after I left the Brothers, the pandemic (and so the lockdown) started and it made me stuck in the Philippines for another 9 months before able to go back home. Thanks be to God that I have a friend there whose family welcomed me so much and so I was able to stay at their place, though I ended up using the rest of the money I had during that time. This is the reason why I organise this fundraise. I am hoping that I will be able to get some help to realise my plan to travel and discern with that particular monastery in France.

I will be so grateful with however much you can help...it will surely count! I keep each one of you in my prayers, and please do pray for me too.

I would also love to tell you more if you are interested so please don't be afraid to get in contact with me! :-)

P.S.: All the funds raised will be used in this order:

1. Travel to France for my first visit (flight and train/bus tickets).

2. Visa and travel to France for my second visit (flight and train/bus tickets) or

3. if ever after careful discernment we decide that that monastery is not the right place for me to grow in my vocation, I will still donate the rest of the funds to that monastery. They are in need of financial help at this moment as they just moved in to their new home in September this year (2020).