HELP FOR MORGAN DOG

I think it's time to let my Morgie dog go...I have been in denial for sometime but she is fading away and I owe her dignity at the last... So now it is a matter of the ridiculous cost and steeling myself for a day I honestly hoped would never come for 18 years... She has been there by my side, loyal, understanding, forgiving, accepting and my best friend and companion in adventures all these years...a rescue that saved me over and over. I don't even know how to say goodbye...I don't want to because it means my best mate is gone forever...but letting her go on like she is, is selfish. How do I do this? I thought she would just pass in her sleep...but she seems as unwilling to accept her aged body and frailty as I am.

I have been quoted $200+ for euthanasia at home and $200 for cremation so I can get my best girl back...I am having to consider leaving her to be buried in a mass grave due to finances and that is incredibly upsetting. This cost is beyond me at the moment for due to chronic illness and a financial instability due to circumstances beyond my control. Every vet I have contacted has said the bill must be paid upfront on the day...to be honest it all feels abhorrent talking about money in regards to my Morgie's passing... I was in tears when inquiring with the vet over the phone but I feel like morgs dog is fading away in front of me and I want to give her a peaceful painfree passing as soon as possible now that I have found the courage to make the decision.

Thank you for reading, I guess all of us who love our animal companions come to this point and her 18+ years have been pretty awesome, she went most places with me, she met lots of people and was loved by lots of people, winning them over with her sensitivity and playfulness... Considering life without her is bizarre to say the least, she has added so much goodness to my life I want to do right by her at this time and I am grateful to have been able to spend every day with her in her old age.

Much love <3