A Project 9 Years in the Making

Hi Folks,

Twelve years ago I became ill. For two and a half years I carried on working, hoping I would get better, and also find out what was wrong with me. I had a diagnosis which doctors said was type 2 diabetes, but I kept getting worse. In the second of these years I had three bad viruses. Things didn't get any better; Next I was hospitalised with an emergency admission with lock jaw and severe pains in my jaw. The doctors put it down to a Parotid Salivary Gland Infection. Immediately following and continuing after this I had to have root canal work, lost teeth, and had gum disease. Finally after visits to other specialists, one of them being a neurologist who, after suggesting I may have to see a psychologist! said I should try another specialist she knew of. After 3 years I was diagnosed with M.E. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. More commonly known as chronic fatigue. More is known of this mysterious, debilitating and degenerative disease and its myriad of symptoms, it is now called M.E.C.F.S. It has been identified as an autoimmune neuroinflammatory disease affecting the central nervous system and the mitochondria i.e. every cell in the body. In 2011/2012 I contracted shingles, simultaneously an epididymal cyst (a testicular blister), Bornholm's disease known also as ’The Devil’s Grip’ continued bacterial and viral infections. I believed at this point I was dying. This time it had impacted on all other aspects of my life.

My family split up, my wife left me for someone else, I couldn’t hold onto my agency contract. Consequently all my other projects, a small property portfolio (which had taken a painstaking and tough 10 years to build up) ended in bankruptcy. Everything I had known, disappeared.

I won’t bore you with the further details of my misfortune as I am not alone when it comes to the vagaries of life. The main reason for not dwelling on misfortune is not only a spiritual awakening, but something that happened out of nowhere and was far more uplifting and rewarding, (although I do say that it came from above) I started writing. As I don't have computer skills it was with a biro in an old diary. If I am asked to explain how it was possible to write when I couldn't do any paperwork i.e. filling in forms and doing my G.S.T. or concentrate to learn new skills, I have no explanation, except that I read somewhere that creativity comes from the other side of the brain - the left brain, right brain phenomenon - that's all I know.

This ‘writing’ started during June 2007. As I had no plans and hadn't really thought about writing (I did like reading fiction). I didn’t sit down one day and say to myself, “Oh! I might write a book”. At about 1am in the morning of one day in the middle of June, I looked up and then counted the pages I had written. It was 10! It was then I thought, I wonder if I can write a story?

It quickly became a daily habit, and the story eventually came. The names, places and characters all came - from above! Months later, I stopped. I just thought it was time to end it. 2 weeks later, after becoming twitchy, irritable, and empty, I picked up a pen and paper and started to write again. And once again I carried on for months. Another 800 pages! Another Story! Then another 2 or 3 weeks - in suspension -. And once more started again - You know what happened. When I had written another 800 or maybe 900 this time and another story appeared, I took stock of what was going on. I was amazed as time had gone by. I used to say “It kept me off the street”, but what it had really done was to give me a purpose. I had something to do every day. After always being occupied prior to getting sick, then abruptly had nothing. It was if I had a job again. Writing had become easier by this time but I have to say I am not a writer, I simply write.

I am blest, and have learnt so much in the last 12 years. Today I can't put it into two or three sentences, but suffice to say at this stage; the people I have met have given me an entirely different perspective on life. The incidents, events, and happenings, mostly natural, a phenomenon from an awakening that began 20 years ago, with first a vision, followed by three more naturally occurring phenomenon's gave me the insight which later helped me to deal with the illness. Awareness, consciousness with a spirituality gained from meditation and reading Buddhist Christian literature, has been a big influence, it brought me safely through to this time.

I was fired up a few years ago when quite by chance, I met a woman who has gone for years suffering with no diagnosis. I listened to her for about half an hour, describing her very painful and debilitating symptoms. Surprisingly, they were identical to my own. It was one of those meant to be moments. A meeting that had to happen.

Extraordinarily this lady with the symptoms had come from the same area where I was brought up, no more than thirty miles away, and her name was the female equivalent of my own.

I came to believe that my illness was actually meant to be, but, I had to learn from it.

I began writing an account of my own struggle with the illness, and what I've done to manage it, including writing, but also exercise, diet, meditation, and the rest! My self help therapies don't cure M.E.C.F.S. , simply ease the symptoms.

I've had a strong desire to put together some kind of help, to use the experience, and get out maybe, a published booklet with advice. This I hope will not only be for those with M.E.C.F.S. but all those with similar symptoms and problems, such as difficult diagnoses, definitely no cure, and very little in the way of coping and caring with help dealing with life day-to-day.

Being alone for these difficult years, I had to find a way of coping with that companion of long term illness, that of depression. And so it goes on...Which brings me around to the reason for my appeal.

My latest financial crisis has been precipitated by the house price rise in Auckland. My rent went up by $100 a week, to which WINZ wouldn't contribute. I'm on a fixed pension benefit. The only way I can cope, is to economize by cutting out therapy and supplements, while selling off possessions.

It has taken years to get to a position where by the balance of diet, exercise, therapy, meditation and supplements enable me to manage my own life - independently.

The funding is specifically to get the first of my books edited, and put into a manuscript, ready for publishing.

I've had editor/publisher look at it which gave me the impetus, as the comments were positive, and they also gave me a verbal quote for the work.

It is this quote I will address. $4000 will get me a typed manuscript. I have re-written the original 5 times, now it needs a final correcting and editing, ready for publishing.

I am looking to attract 200 contributors at $20 each.

I will give an undertaking to provide each contributor with 1 copy of the published book. (a fee of $4 will be also needed for postage and packaging ).My intention is to make sufficient funds to have my writing on M.E.C.F.S. also edited published, and distributed in a :-

NOT FOR PROFIT PUBLICATION

I am thinking it will be a booklet once its edited. I am nearly 70 years old now, and to accomplish this would be a satisfying conclusion to my life. And a fitting contribution to the lives of others. This is what I feel has been the purpose of my illness.

Thank you for your time, and hopefully we will be in further communication. I look forward to hearing from you. - Pat