Roots For The Toots

We have a silent, but violent problem in Aotearoa.

One we all partake in - whether we admit it or not.

And one that will continue for generations to come.

Farting.

After hours of laborious academic research, my flatulation calculation predicted that in 2023 New Zealanders will have blown off enough methane as is equivalent to approximately 7,984 metric tonnes of CO2 - This is similar to using 4 million litres of petrol, charging almost 1 billion smartphones or burning 4000 tonnes of coal.

This surprising problem isn’t our fault.

But what’s clear is, whoever had denied it, had in fact supplied it.

As a somewhat over-zealous contributor, I want to help. So this summer, I'll be walking NZ top to bottom on foot to raise awareness of this flatulence, and in the process fundraising to plant as many native trees as possible, all in the name of covering New Zealanders arses for the future.

Spare change makes change and you can help me, help you, and feel loud and proud by helping plant a Forest For Our Farts.

A rough estimate calculated approximately 13 hectares to offset all New Zealanders for 2023. Thats a fraction of a tree per person - shows the power of trees huh.

Even a small contribution will likely offset yourself, so why not chip in for your friends and family too, and feel good knowing you’ve covered their ass.

Luckily for us, the larger the Fart Forest, the more we can offset our flatulence for years to come.