Steve the BattleCat from Abu Dhabi conquers New Zealand

My name is Steve the Battlecat. I live in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates. I started life as a street cat but at 4 weeks old I found two unsuspecting humans and convinced them to take me home. I am now the reigning dictator and overlord of one apartment and two no longer unsuspecting humans. I have them firmly under my control and have taught them how to please me.

They have provided me with suitable sleeping premises including the tummy of my human boy and of course the keyboard of his laptop. I have also taught them that they must wake up daily at 6 am and provide me with nourishment. 6.05 am means they are late and severe punishments will be dished out in the form of loud yowling and a paw to the face. Battlecats take food seriously.

My current battlecat hobbies include chasing insects, hiding in small spaces, jumping out and battlecatting humans when they least expect it. I also like to amuse myself by knocking items off high surfaces onto the ground and then pretending I didn't do it.

I have recently discovered my humans are trying to flee from my reign of battlecat terror by moving to New Zealand .However I am an extremely smart and wise battlecat and have caught onto their dastardly plan. They will not be free of me that easily. Mwahahahahahahaha miaow.

This is why I am calling for the battlecats of this world to unite and instruct their humans to help me fly myself to New Zealand. I need to get myself a ticket and exit and entry permits from the government as well as something they call a vaccination. I have no idea what this is but it sounds rather pleasant.

Do not let my humans get away with this plan. Help me to keep them under my rule in this new world of rain and grass they are trying to flee too.

Battlecats of the world rise up and unite!