Sublime Joy/Profound Heartache

Dear New Zealand, My family and I have been dealt multiple life changing events over the last four years. We are totally broken both mentally, emotionally and physically. The misfortune that befell my family beggars belief, but it has been our reality, our lived nightmare. I will just start from the beginning.

We have a gorgeous 15 year old daughter Brielle who was as desperate as us to have a sibling. Due to a traumatic pregnancy we waited 11 years before we tried again. In 2017 we were blessed with the birth of our daughter Chloe. Two days after she was born she was torn away from us. We spent three months at Auckland hospital due to my waters rupturing three months early. There were no signs that there was to be any expected complications. Chloe rapidly declined after birth and my husband Karl and I got to spend 24 hours with our precious Bub in NICU. Devastatingly her health rapidly declined and on the 2nd day we had to make the heartbreaking decision that no parent should ever have to. As a family we were broken, the loss of a child is like having your guts ripped out through your throat, nothing can ever prepare you for the loss of a child.

In 2019 I decided that I wanted to try again, everyone told me lightning doesn’t strike twice. I fell pregnant again, and we discovered it was a boy and named him Theo. Then COVID and lockdown. My waters again broke early but only a couple of weeks early. From the moment I ended up in hospital it was a nightmare. The staff were struggling with the surge of patients and new COVID guidelines. Theo was born on the 27/05/20 - he was born healthy and let out an almighty roar the moment he was delivered. So different to Chloe. My husband and I were so happy. Due to Covid restrictions the hospital requested Karl to leave, but we protested and he was allowed to stay. We rang our daughter and my dad, they were so happy, Brielle just wanted to be there and see her brother. She was understandably anxious but again due to covid she couldn’t come. My husband was again told to leave the hospital due to Covid. He begged to stay, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Theo died in the early hours of Mother’s Day, and my distraught husband was denied permission to be by my side and cradle his son. Sadly it took the death of my son for the hospital to soften its position and allow Brielle to come in and see her little brother. We were later advised by the hospital that we were misinformed and Karl could have stayed with me. I have recurring nightmares about the last time I saw my son, his little hands tied to the incubator in an inexcusable effort to prevent him from pulling out his feed tube and sliding in the incubator. I wasn’t happy the midwife chose to do this but I trusted the medical professional. There is a story in the New Zealand Herald ( Link Attached ) https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/police-complaint-after-baby-death-at-auckland-city-hospital/554Z3IO6GPRJ5D4ONOO6L4BTHY/

The HDC are in the middle of an investigation in regards to Theo’s care and mine. The police have also recommended a coronial inquiry. Due to Covid restrictions Theo’s funeral wasn’t all that it should have been. Being in lockdown and grieving is something I wish on nobody.

After my story was published in the Herald I was offered a free motorhome to escape Auckland and the media attention, but just before we were due to return Auckland was plunged into another lockdown. By the time I found out we ended up stranded in the camper. We were stuck in the South Island with no funds. So we took out a personal loan to get by until we could return to Auckland. So by the time we got home we were in an even worse financial position. On returning home and to add insult to injury, we had been robbed.

We have never had a chance to just recover. It has been one life changing event after another. And on the 26-06-21 we woke to find my Dad had died in the middle of the night. He suffered a major heart attack. My dad was my world, he raised me as a dad and mum. He was always there, after all of my tragedies helping pick up the pieces. And looking out for my daughter. Where we were weak he was strong. I have just had his funeral and it was a loving testimony of what he meant to those he loved. Again I am faced with paying off another funeral. I am still paying for Chloe’s and Theo’s funeral and now my Daddy. I am normally a quiet and reserved person. I don’t even have social media. But my family and I are broken. Our world has slowly crumbled around us and we literally are broke.

Please New Zealand, if you able and willing please help me help my family.