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Support The Hercus family, Andrew, Kiri, Tyler and Kobi through their Melanoma journey

  • The battle is over

      20 March 2020
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    It is with great sadness that write this, but Andrew Graham Hercus passed away on Thursday 19th March 2020.

    He was with his family and fought till the very end. My darling husband did not want to die, he held on to make sure he knew everything was set up in place, finished around the house and until he had heard every message sent.

    The precious moments we had before he took his final breath I will forever hold in my heart.

    As his wife all I wanted was for him to feel like he had accomplished everything one would have in a full 80+years of life.

    He was the perfect husband, the greatest father, an honest, trustworthy, loyal, down to earth straight up gentleman. A man who everyone who ever came in his life at some point will all say the same thing. He really was a good hard working man. He always held the door open, always put the seat down, was OCD about cleaning, and always made time for his kids.

    He owned his own home, a boat, had 2 kids, a wife and a dog. His bestmate lived with us till the very end, his families once split through trauma now talk, laugh and have made peace with the past. His kids future is set to look promising.

    He got to hear from his birth mother moments before passing.

    The boys have soft cuddle buddy gifts from their dad. Inside the buddies are 1000s of hugs and 1000s of kisses, and messages from them to him and him to them were exchanged with hugs locked in. Many messages are locked deep for the future and will be heard when the time is right for them.

    All the memories made over the past year will be forever with us and he will be missed everyday.

    Thank you all for supporting me during my Melanoma Journey but it ends now and a new life begins without the love of my life beside me. Give me strength and courage for our boys. I will take it day by day.

    Rest in peace my darling Angel. You'll be missed by lots that's for sure.

    Kiri Hercus

    Tyler, Kobi and Rox

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    • 21/03/2020 by Linda

      Hi Kiri I am really saddened to read your post but glad the community got together to give Andrew more time with you, Tyler & Kobi. Arohanui Linda M

  • Alot can happen in a week

      17 March 2020
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    We have had two very different weeks just pass. In the first week so many memories of final moments made and letting go of things we can no longer use in his life.

    We began with a final fish using a kontiki this time. He baited and hooked them on the line while we did the rest, we waited till almost sunset to head down so we could watch the sun set also. What a beautiful moment he had feeling normal, able and ontop of the world. Went home with a gurnard which he filleted crumbed and cooked for us one last time.

    Never again will I taste a fish as good as that one was. I watched him cry because he to knew it was the last time hed be in the kitchen aswell.

    The man that loved cooking and baking ever since the day his beautiful mother Janie taught him. She would be so proud of him.

    The next day I took him to the hurricanes game at the caketin. Went all out so he could enjoy it comfortably without everyone steering if he nods off so corporate box with inhouse dining, sitting on a sofa with the best view in the house was how he sent the night with his wife, kids, step sister, bestmate and brothers. It was a first for us all and it will be the treasured moment for yhose who came.

    The following day was a biggy again. 20 family members came to clean the yard and clear the clutter remove a shed and fill the front with dirt. Andrew had a list of jobs he wished hed done throughout his life and he wanted everything done before he passes so he knows I'll be fine because its all been taken care of.

    He got to let out some steam and frustration by getting in the digger and busting down the shed himself. The smile on his face made the pain he was seem gone if only for the few minutes it took to bust it.

    That evening he made the hardest move ever, letting go of his beloved Boat. 16 years of memories made and he had to say goodbye. That was a heartbreaking and heavy moment for him and truly really cut him deep.

    His stepsister came round and paint the house the next morning while he wrote a few more lists of everthing else he wanted sorted too including the weeks shopping list.

    His writing was getting worse with every word, his memory of what things were called were muddled or missing. We talked a bit before he slept. Then Went out for lunch to say goodbye to his sis and the deterioration began.

    He was heartbroken again knowing he'd never see her again, followed by his bestbro poping in for his final goodbye aswell. Special moments for them, ticks off the list for him.

    Everything changed that night. He woke confused and struggling to do anything complete body shut down, seized legs, unable to hold his own drink or open his eyes and slowly lost ability to finish words. The next few days were restly sleeping ut we had one more voyage to go.

    Our 6month wedding anniversary hotel stay. We went back to where we meet, where we worked together and realized our connection was really good and life as the Hercus's began.

    We didn't manage the two nights planned but one was enough for me. I heard what you said that night and Il cherish those words forever.

    Brought him home to be comfy and less stressed and is now currently trying his hardest to fight to the bitter end. I'll fight for as long as he'll fight and with his besty at our side the whole way through, we still got this. Shes amazing and I couldn't have done this without her.

    The nurses are amazing and the palliative care team are fast and efficient to get me what ever I need to assist in his aid. They have warned the the Coronavirus threat means noone who has travelled or been in contact with someone can not come visit. Unfortunately his birth mother flew in before but the risk is too high for the nurses to allow even me to get a hug from this mother once grieving again for the lose of her son. Heartbreaking but you make things work with video calls and air hugs.

    Thats where were at in our Melanoma Journey who knows how many chapters are left.

    Keep us in your thoughts even say a little prayer if you can.

    Still fight strong for our boys.

    Kiri

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  • Wish granted aswell as a goodbye to his pride enjoy

      8 March 2020
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    Wow we have had an amazing weekend. The HURRICANES might have lost the game but was a serious win for us.

    We were in a corporate box with a buffet meal before the game, treated like kings for a night. The kids were just beeming with joy the whole night.

    Andrew got to watch the game on a comfy sofa with the best view in the stadium I reckon. We went with his sister who came over from Oz and three of his best mates who are his second adopted family since his teens.

    This day ment so much to so many and so much was put in place to allow us to do so, I want to thank the kind soul who donated this forever memory for kids and I and for granting Andrew one of those things few things on his final wish list.

    His health this week has been stable as he rested for three days to reserve his energy for the game, the nurse did everything to ensure he had no offsets and we got a wheelchair for the evening because of his swollen legs and ankles.

    In other news

    He also had to give up one of his most pride enjoys and true loves, his precious Boat. 16 years of memories, the kids have their own wonderful memories aboard even had a go at the wheel. Caught some woppers and some laughs and saying goodbye was difficult. Heartbroken is an understatement he has spent a year trying to believe he would one day take it out again an nail the one the got away.

    Sadly he knew the reality of that and that horrible decision had to be made, today he said goodbye and ended that chapter of his amazing life.

    Thanks for following our journey, sharing and donating what you can. It really has made this process so much easy to cope with knowing il be ok financially for that little bit longer.

    Keep those positive vibes coming I know they are working, evertime I read him message it reminds him how loved and supported we truly are.

    Kiri, Andrew, Tyler and Kobi 💞

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  • Living Life with Palliative Care

      4 March 2020
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    It has been one of the most emotional two weeks coming to terms with no longer actively trying to kill the cancer and focus on living the remaining time as painfree as possible.

    He has a Palliative care District nurse come to the house daily and we are slowing meeting the team of nurses.

    Monday 2nd March we meet with our Oncologists for a final assessment combined with a farewell and Thank you. The love and care she showed us has been one of the reasons I have been able to stay strong and informed 100% along the way. You could see it in her eyes that shes was hurting because she felt she had failed us but she honestly tried everything and she did get us past the first "timeline" given.

    Cancer Fatigue is alot stronger than standard Fatigue, and hes got it hard. The swollen feet and legs make walking and standing difficult. But somedays he has no issues and bakes up a storm, walks pup down the beach and we go out for lunch, We have some routines in place but we really can only take thing one day at a time.

    Home life has become a full time job for me as his primary Carer but you can see thay having me here is differently keeping him earthbound and staying strong so he is trying his hardest to reserve enough energy to come and feel cancer free for a night at the hurricanes game this weekend.

    His overseas Family Members are each coming over within this month, with his stepsister just landed on monday for a week and his Birth Mum and siblings coming in a few weeks times aswell.

    Our boys Tyler and Kobi have been absolutely amazing. They have the most amazing School support with 100% of the teachers parents and students aware to help them at any part of this journey. We are open an honest with them, because we want them to be able to openly speak about it. Their Father has decided to be home till the very end and not the hospice so home life will be hard at times, sadness will be a major emotion, and school will be there other main scenery so Im hoping they feel able to share their feelings outloud.

    Thank you all for support and ensuring Im there to help him through these long days at home. Your donation is giving me that time with him.

    Kiri Hercus 💞💞

    Please keep those positive vibes coming 💞

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    • 04/03/2020 by Brent

      Thanks for the update Kiri as difficult as is was to read. You're a trooper and my heart goes out to you and your lovely family. Stay strong. xx

  • Not what we wanted hear

      26 February 2020
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    Wednesday 26th Feb

    We came home from hospital after a 3 night stay. We came in with the abdominal pain and increased pain in his chest.

    Andrew had an Xray and CT scan done and they found the mass on his liver has grown. They explained that his cancer is likely not responsive to chemotherapy and possibly have no further effective therapies to offer at this stage. We decided that surgery was also not an option at this stage due to high risk, and were told if we try the immunotherapy or targeted drugs again (at our cost) there could be little to no effect and we will be looking at all those side effects again.

    We chose the value of his life is more important now and chose to focus on keeping him pain free at home.

    We have a palliative carer come to the house now everyday to administered his morphine through a sub cut driver, They will also be able to help in any issues during these daily visits.

    Hopefully the radiation treatment he recently received will keep the brain mets at bay and with the new pain relief they set up will keep him pain free.

    Truthfully worse case scenario is that he may only have weeks left to live best case scenario is a year but we have not given up hope, Andrew is strong, stubborn and determined to keep fighting for his family.

    We have been donated tickets to the hurricanes game next weekend and are looking forward to that.

    Thanks for following our journey

    More updates to follow.

    Kiri 💞

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    • 27/02/2020 by Brent

      So sorry to hear your new's Kiri. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you and your family. Sending lots of love your way!

    • 30/03/2020 by Linda

      So awfully sad you've lost a dear partner and dad. It was a pleasure meeting him and reporting our conversation to tens of thousands on radio. You fought a magnificent battle for his life. The fundraiser in a way was his fabulous funeral. Huge numbers there, your totally moving speech, the kids running around, the money raised, A memorable event for us all. To you, Kiri, and the children, our tears, our love, our admiration.

      Kevin Milne.