Two painful surgeries for mum. Help raise funds for childcare during recovery time

Hi my name is (kristyl) Kaye and this is the last place I thought I’d end up asking for help. I’m a very proud person and I myself usually donate time and money to charity. This has come as a big blow to my self esteem and my feelings as being a capable and competent mother.

Our family has had a rough couple of years with covid, my health being a disaster, the loss of my job and now are at risk of losing our house. I know we are among so many with this sort of story.

We find ourselves in a position where we can’t access any social services to help with childcare while I’m recuperating from the first surgery of two I need. The first is on my bowel and the second is on my spine. Both are dangerous but necessary.

My family was meant to be coming into NZ to help with childcare for two months but with covid restrictions that had now been declined by MIQ.

I am reaching out hoping that people may even a few dollars to spare so I can hire a nanny.

We need about 31 hours a week of nanny care for prob 3-4 weeks. So it adds up to a huge amount.

I am getting a medical surgery done late February on my stomach/abdo/bowel. It’s complications since my pregnancy and also has resulted in me needed significant spinal surgery/fusion on my back at a later date.

Neither of these surgeries are covered by New Zealand ACC health scheme but I run the risk of becoming incontinent and losing much of my ability to walk.

My issue is that because this isn’t ACC related I don’t qualify for home help.

My fiancé had forced closure over the Xmas period where all his leave was used.

Since my injury I have been laid off work and am not drawing an income. He is the only one keeping us afloat and keeping the wolves at bay. Winz (centrelink) won’t help either.

We are hoping he can take forward leave of about 7 days with the support of his manager which will help enormously but I’ve been advised I will be majorly out of action for close to 6-8weeks.

I can’t afford the extortionate amount the home care services are wanting so I’m very much in a pickle.

I’ve had quotes done for transport, getting ready, fed, bathed, extra childcare on the Saturday my husband works, extra daycare, nursing assistance for my wounds. It amounts to a lot and I point blank cried seeing the cost.

I’ve advertised for au pairs. Any idea you can think of … I’ve tried it.

We can’t get a mortgage holiday either.

It’s one brick wall after another.

I’ve exhausted all options with social services as well and I fall between every single crack possible. Not elderly enough etc etc. the social worker I spoke to was in tears as she has run out of ideas.

All our close friends live in Australia as well as my family. His family are in South Africa.

My fiancé works Tuesday - Saturday 6.30am - 6pm in the city.

The medication I’m on makes me dangerous to be on the road and I would never want to risk anyone.

Subsequent to this first surgery I won’t be able to drive and basically be only able to hobble after a few weeks. No lifting and basically a LOT of laying down. My surgery is in February. If I even attempt to move or lift I will end up back in emergency surgery.

I don’t really care about myself after the surgery. I’m sure I can manage with a sandwich set up beside the bed and water. My fiancé can help bath me if necessary in the evening.

I’ve tried credit cards (declined) accessing superannuation (declined) and every thing in between.

We are drawing one income right now and at risk of losing our house.

The funds I’m trying to raise is so that I can have a nanny come help for about a month and give them a sense of normality. all the things a mother should be doing but I can’t. A fill in who they are comfortable with and who can care for them the way I do desperately wish I could but won’t be able to. I also need help around the house as I would not even be able to fold a towel or push the washing machine button on for quite some time.

My surgery requires that my bowel and other organs are attached to my spine from the inside so I’m really unable to move and will be on heavy pain killers.

The second surgery is spinal fusion.

After four years of agony and existing on pain killers this is my first step and only chance at trying to live a normal life.

Any spare dollar anyone can donate would just mean the world to me and my family.

Even just sharing this page would mean the world!

If anyone needs any further info please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Thank you and I hope every ones 2022 goes 100% better than what the past two years has been.

Love and light

Kristyl (Kaye)