Help me achieve my childhood dream

So long story short I grew up in Christchurch. I was only six when my farther left me. It was very hard for me seeing him in jail and on the news for the crime he committed. Growing up without a farther made me find God. I got into a relationship with him and called him Dad. And yes I was the kid sitting at the back of class or school field reading my Bible...Haha. So the music started when we were forced to move out of our family home and move into an apartment. I decided to learn guitar to help with the stress. It was here where I meet my friend Sean who was my neighbor. Oh the trouble we got into !! It was a good time living there and I joined a church and started playing in the band to help with my music. My worship leader Nate was such a good inspiration to me !! Like a Farther. Everything was going okay until the Earthquake hit! It completely destroyed my house and we had no where to go so Mum had to buy a Caravan with the little money she had in savings. So not being able to find my songs I wrote in the rubble I wrote new songs at the Caravan because that was all there was to do. After a stressful two years we had moved into a new house which was Earthquake damaged but bloody cheap. Things went okay for a while. I got a job in retail which I loved and made so many friends. I even meet a girl who I fell in love with but she did not love me back so I went through real bad depression for a few months. I got over it after pray and petition. Things at church were going amazing as I got Dad and my brother going. Sean cam for a while and Dad invited his Girlfriend K who went from working at some boring business to leading the homeless feeds they do around the city and doing amazing things!! I fell in love with another girl who I dated for three months and we loved each other so much but she was a control freak and I wasn't ready so let her go because I didn't want to but had to. That put me in more depression then my friend from school died of cancer and my Granddad passed away. I chose to leave my retail job as I wanted to do security cos I like that stuff. I joined a company were I do plain clothes. You pose as a shopper but you are looking for thieves...Anyway here I made goods friends as well and my boss was like a Mum to me. After like six years I met up with my Brother and I's friend Jordan. Boy has that guy been through a lot. You think ,my story is big? Mine is nothing compared to his! Anyway he is a song writer like me so we would write songs in my garage all night.. He was homeless so we let him live here for a few months. We wrote a lot of songs together and I helped him to find God along with my Brother's Girlfriend. We would all stay up late playing music in the garage. Good memories were there !! Anyway Jordan left to fly to Auckland unexpectedly one day without telling me and I was furious !! But I knew it was God's will. I focused on my music and gave up my car, buying clothes, buying nice things etc, so I could pay to get my songs recorded professionally.

I costs almost $1,500 for a song !! But I was determined so I recorded my first song Miles Away (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em9yz7wrpDs) and it was a hit!...Well almost haha. Anyway I liked it.

After I paid for it things went sour!! I recorded another song called Two Broken Hearts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUTeez8slSA).

Jordan rung me and said he loved the song. An even weirder thing was I felt all funny one night. I felt like something was wrong and next minute he calls me and says "Are you okay?" I'm thinking how did he know this? He told me that he felt them same thing and asked me if I could come up north to do music with him. We knew in our hearts and spirits that this was the right thing for us so I told my boss I'm leaving and going up north. So not long before I go things turn again.My Brother and his Girlfriend

start fighting everyday. So I feel like I should stay and help but no!! I have spent all my life helping others and know I should focus on me for a while before I get worn out. Oh and then my work mate goes to Hillmorton as well and now we are down a worker so I have to stay and my bills come. Oh yes !! This is the challenge I now face. I'm now almost 5-6k in debt from my Music and all this other stuff I have had to pay off over the years. Now my dream is in danger and I'm keeping calm and trusting. I am working as much as I can but it is still not enough because I want to do my music now. I can't do it with bills on my mind like this. I am so close to my dreams I can taste it. But the money is in the way.

I wish I could go into way more detail but you don't have all day! The funds I get will be used to help me either pay off what I need to or to go fly to see my friend and use it for my music recording etc...None of the money will go to anything else but achieving my dream. If you feel someone deserves it more than me then don't hesitate. This is only to help me and give me the push I need "It's not about how much you give but how much love is in your giving." God Bless <3