Pams Journey to Sobriety

I’ve been selected to star in a ground-breaking TV show. This award-winning ‘Adventure All Stars’ series is produced by the internationally acclaimed Charity TV Global. This inspiring television show involves me undertaking a life-changing adventure while being filmed by the global TV crew. Charity TV Global is a verified ground-breaking fundraising project for charity organisations around the world, The team implements and manages a fundraising venture that culminates in the filming of a global media project. Part of the pre-filming process, I have committed to is raising much needed funds for charity. My fundraising will directly support The Retreat New Zealand.

I am extremely honoured and committed in helping The Retreat NZ with the aim of reaching $25,000 within the next 6 months. The Retreat is a place I hold very close to my heart.

The Retreat NZ is a charitable trust that provides residential care and support for anyone suffering from alcohol and drug addiction looking to improve the quality of life for themselves, their families and our communities . The Retreat offers a 30-day programme in a non-clinical, friendly, warm and safe environment where you are surrounded with like minded people who are passionate about recovery and finding sobriety.

I was 35-years-old when I hit rock bottom.

For the 16 years prior, what most of you won't know is that every day, particularly in the 4 years I have been suffering from addiction. I have been through extreme highs and lows including the sudden death of my twin brother at age 28. This event was something I struggled with for years and was a pivotal and defining moment in my life, that along with other factors ultimately lead to my addiction with alcohol.

From a daily drinker for 15 years, (except during my pregnancies) I had become an alcoholic - a high-functioning alcoholic. I was able to maintain a full-time job, run a household with four children and get up each morning without too much struggle. To the outside world I was just a busy, normal working mother but in the last four years of my addiction I physically could not function from late afternoon onward without alcohol. I was an “at home drinker”, away from the watchful eye of judgement and criticism from others.

I had lost my self-esteem, self-worth and was suffering from anxiety and depression. I pushed away family and friends through guilt, shame and embarrassment. Unable to cope with my emotions or surroundings and not wanting to tell anyone through fear of failure and letting people down I drunk myself to black out every night.

So, I know through my own personal experience how The Retreat NZ can bring life changing and positive differences for those in need.

In April 2018, through an intervention and the unconditional love and support of my parents, three older sisters and close friend, I travelled from New Plymouth to Auckland to The Retreat NZ, which was the start of a new beginning for me. By removing myself from what had a become a volatile and at times toxic environment and surrounding myself with likeminded people at The Retreat I was soon immersed in a programme that gave me the tools to help find myself. It was here that I made a commitment to no longer drink alcohol. This has bettered my health, my well-being and returned my brain to sanity and reason. Through the programme at the Retreat NZ I have also learned the fundamentals and importance of Strength, Love, Serenity, Courage, Wisdom and Spirituality.

In my sobriety I have been able to do & achieve more than imaginable, things that were not possible before going to The Retreat. Some of them being very basic things like going to the beach with my children, tramping around our mountain, ANY social event, these things were impossible for me through fear and anxiety without alcohol. Four days after the retreat & being home in NP I returned to Auckland, I drove for the first time on an open road alone in eight years. At 12 months sober I traveled to Hawaii then California on my own. The Retreat NZ offers ongoing support for the Alcoholic and their families after their stay and encourages guests to call in, keeping a connection with the Retreat has been an important part of recovery for me it reminds me of our lucky I am. That we who suffer have available to us such a place, an opportunity to get well and move forward and gain control of our lives.