Treasure Chest - A deep sea exploration in metaphor.

Hey dear ones.

There are a few important things to me. Beauty, soulfulness, equity, grace, justice, advocacy for those who's voice pushes back against being squashed...human dignity as a birthright and accessibility to it...

...A Seeking Heart. Healing. Creativity. Spirit. Truth. My Loves. Love. Breath...

...AND FRICKIN' TOP SURGERY.

My name means 'Universal/Whole'. I spent most of my life feeling shamed into attempting to conform to social norms. I knew in my spirit how expansive I am and certainly kept butting into edges, but wow...cisheteronormativity really is a thing. What a crime to shrink a soul in a vast world of colour... How I so lost myself.

Nowdays I am on a journey to live in my truth and walk alongside others to do the same.

I stand on the beautiful mountain range shoulders of Black and Latina trans women and here in Aotearoa, Takatāpui trailblazers such as Ngahuia Te Awekotuku who created the space for queerness with their bodies on the line.

I treasure my genderqueer whānui as we continue to seek and create space for our expansive souls to materialise. For some of us, dare I say maybe most, our gender is such a pure soul expression. It's about more than gender - more a spiritual code towards expansiveness - the I Am, the They, the All...And this is what this is about. To make known my TRUTH in all the ways. To return to the presplit body in the Garden. To lay down the need to bind my chest due to such intense dysphoria. To not face having to choose between life-compromising mental health or binding my chest - having my ribs slowly start to crack and misshapen, to wake up not being able to breathe because my organs have been so squashed that my throat fills with stomach acid and traumatise myself and my partner, to not be able to sing because of diminished lung capacity - (and this is my calling), to be bent into a more feminised than desired shape which is a vicious cycle and god knows what else... I want to live. I need to work. There is no more leeway tread. The rims are on the road. I need surgery. ASAP.

You would think within trans healthcare it would be equitable. Gender-diverse folks, however, do not receive the same access and support for our healthcare as our binary comrades. To qualify for top surgery I must identify as male and be on Testosterone for up to 2yrs or more. This is not my truth. I am trans masc leaning but I am not male. I do not feel it is in my alignment or best interests to be on T. This is still a heteronormative transphobic system kids...

I posted a photo of my fiance, Lesina, and I because we want to get married, but my darling said she wants to marry me as me - embodied fully and feeling at ease on our big day, post surgery.

I love her for that. I would like to marry her before 2067 please...

There are many of us in this position, some not. It is a vastness afterall. So if you see people of colour, Black

folks and Indigenous folks in the same boat as me, give to them first. They are dealing with transphobic AND racist systems and face a lot more obstacles. If we go over the line, all surplus monies will go straight to genderdiverse Takatāpui needing financial support, so give big if you can.

Please do not put yourself in economic hardship for this. I know COVID has slammed us against the wall. If you can support me, however, I believe this is the right side of history kind of thing, and encourage you to think about how your own gender wishes to dance, and how we can make more space for it to move.

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Ngā mihi arohanui,

Emma (Pronouns - They/them/ia)