Mount Everest Challenge for Mental Health

I think this is the first time I’ve spoken about suicide publically since my husband Shauny took his life 6 months ago. Honestly, I find it so hard to even talk about.

I thought we had a good life, two young kids (2 and 4), a business we were building up, a passionate relationship of 14 years. Sure it wasn’t perfect, Shauny would piss me off and I would annoy him and we certainly had our fair share of ups and downs but we loved each other and I thought we always had something so special. We used to be so cocky about how lucky we were that we found each other so young, we somehow meet each other and it just worked so well.

On August the 18th 2018 my whole life changed. Shaun took his life, no explanation. Aside from a small tiff (that I will never ever stop playing in head over and over again wishing it could have been different) we had had a beautiful night with friends, laughing, joking and excited about celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary by taking the kids to the lion park in Rotorua for the night then having a couple of nights to ourselves “childfree!”

Shauny should still be here. But he isn’t and I’m only just coming to terms with it. How is he not here watching his kids learn to swim or ride a bike?? How could someone so loved think that suicide was an option? The devastation he has left, the millions of unanswered questions and the guilt is so hard to deal with. But the thing I struggle the most with is how much we miss him and the huge hole Shauny has left in our hearts.

Before Shaun leaving us, I never knew what it meant to feel depressed. I remember being so judgemental about people that took “Mental Health Days” off work. Now I truely know how important our mental health is. I just wish I knew this six months ago 😢 I’ve had some really dark days and I’m truely grateful for the people around me who have pulled me up.

Something needs to change. I don’t know how to make a change but I want to raise some funds for the Mental Health Foundation. If I knew then, what I know now about depression and anxiety I would have seen the signs and been able to help.

Emma and Sara from Beach Kids are such incredible people, they have started a fundraiser at Waihi Beach for Mental Health which is where you walk the Trig 48 times and it is equivalent to walking Mount Everest. It’s called the Mount Everest Challenge for Mental Health.

I’m not sure if I can complete the challenge 48 times. I actually struggle walking to the shops most days at the moment but I thought I would at least try. I will set my first goal at 10 times.

If you can- please don’t feel you have to - donate to this page and I will pass over to the Mount Everest Challenge ❤️

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’m always always here if anyone ever needs to talk.